More on the new Heinous Hair album...

Check out this article from MTV about Christina's new album. I'm not gonna lie here... I'm still nervous as hell, especially since Linda Perry mentions about 500 times that the album is "risky". Still, I'm gonna give my girl the benefit of the doubt that she hasn't gone all Crazy with a Z (to quote a Ouizer-ism). If we can count on one thing, it's that the girl will be blowing her tits off left and right via ridiculous vocal gymnastics, while stopping in the middle of every other phrase to go "HA!" Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand, that's why we love 'er!

Sophie has SUBSTANCE!

The New York Times had a great article this week about the cabinet-approved MTV show Sweet Sixteen, and our lil' Sophie is featured! Check it out if you get a chance. My favorite part?

"I wanted something with a lot of substance," said Sophie, now 17, without a hint of irony.

They finally pushed my button...

Alright M’Lynn, I finally say “uncle”, too. I just caught the new Pussycat Dolls video for “Buttons” and I’m hooked (click here to check it out on Yahoo! Music). It’s hard to pick a favorite part, but I would say it has to go to the obvious nod to the iconic Bob Fosse dance hall barre choreography of “Big Spender” from the original “Sweet Charity” production (incidentally, can I get a big yeaaaaaaaaaaaaah for Shirley MacLaine and Chita Rivera in the movie version???)

“Big Spender” seems to be a staple for the girls – and why shouldn’t it? Here are two blown clips I found on YouTube:

Click here for the girls back in the day when they were a trashy L.A. burlseque act, performing "Big Spender" with Carmen Electra, a bunch of random boys, and a Maserati (uh, yeah):

And here is a shorter clip of them doin' it dirrty style with xtina.

I should also note that the black chair choreography in "Bottons" also takes a page out of the Fosse playbook, by way of Britty's "Stronger". Loves it!

Standing in the way of Control

The Gossip is my favorite new discovery.
I saw their video for "Standing in the Way of Control"
on Logo's NewNowNext and instantly fell in love.
The Gossip is made up of guitarist Brace, vocalist Beth,
and drummer Hannah (left to right above).
They are all gay, and Brace and Beth are from rural Arkansas
while Hannah hails from Washington.
Their sound is punk with a dance beat,
and Beth has this huge dance diva voice.
I saw them interviewed on Logo last night,
and they totes referenced "Female Trouble"
(only one of the GREATEST MOVIES OF ALL TIME).

Check out the CD on iTunes.
It's pretty much fantastic from start to finish.


Must Downloads:
"Standing in the Way of Control"
"Coal to Diamonds"
"Keeping You Alive"

ps... if you like the video for "SITWOC",
then check out this ridiculous live performance.

Cancer!?! That's Hilarious!

YES!
A "Strangers With Candy" movie trailer has been released. Apparently it's a prequel to the outrageous series, and it's set to have it's NYC debut on June 28th.

[official site]

[movie trailer]

Oh. Shit.

Jesus, take the wheel!! I'm about to pass out now that Access Hollywood has broken the news that none other than Rosie O'Donnell has been chosen as the new co-host of The View. Look, I'm too stunned to say much of anything. Alls I know is that when girlfriend sits down with Joy Behar, Elisabeth Hasselbeck, and STAR JONES for the first time, I will simultaneously be shooting Koosh balls at the TV screen and wetting my shorts.

Folks, I kind of feel like it's time to embrace Rosie and her heinousness. This is going to be some serious entertainment.

BLOW! Award Nominee: Antoinette Millard

Sorry kids, I've been slacking... I've been meaning to post about this blow for awhile. Personally, my favorite part of the story is her defense - that she suffered a breakdown after 9/11. Uh-huh. Say, I have a game - let's brainstorm all the crazy shit we'd like to do if we didn't think we'd be held accountable. Who wants to dress up like Dolly Parton and knock over a 7-11? How many people want to steal a rental car, drive to Mexico, and go on a six-day pharmaceutical bender? Why CAN'T you kidnap Paris Hilton and feed her to your pet lion???

Confession on a (popper-filled) dance floor

I'd like to come out as a KC and the Sunshine Band fan here on the blog. Is that okay with all of you? It should be: Check out the racial equality and those sweet threads in the picture of the band above, which was taken at the height of their fame in the post-Watergate era. And KC was also a very handsome man back in the day. How can you deny me?!

KC and his cohorts are considered among the most 'mainstream' of the disco stars of the mid- to late '70s, racking up an impressive five #1 hits that spent a total of six weeks at the top of the charts. I realize that KC and the Sunshine Band's Greatest Hits album is a requisite for any Obvious Girl's Super Heinous Turnin' 21 Karaoke Jumpoff, but their songs are just so much damn fun. They gave us 'Get Down Tonight,' '(Shake Shake Shake) Shake Your Booty,' 'That's the Way (I Like It),' and my personal favorite, 'Keep It Comin' Love.'

I recall a VH1 Behind the Music about these guys from quite a few years back, and the incredibly astute comment made by one of those talking heads. Some lady trying to expound on KC's enduring popularity said, 'You know, Bob Dylan may have written some of the greatest lyrics of his generation, but his music never made me want to get up and dance.'

To which I raise my glass and said, 'Amen, sister!'

Next up: My secret obsession with Juice Newton...

The Face of Lame

This is Collin Finnerty, that little Duke U. lacrosse twerp accused of raping a stripper with two other students. Collin also has a lovely and violent anti-gay incident on his record.

Hey kiddo, I sure do hope justice is served.

Ouizer's Birthday Bash!

Ouizer's 27th birthday was this past Thursday, which is also appropriately Hitler's birthday AND the worldwide celebration of all things marijuana. You go with your special day, Ouizer...The Cabinet loves you! (Check out that picture of our Ouizer, at left, with Honorary Cabinet member Sharon Stone.)

Birthday celebrating commences this Saturday afternoon at 4p at Splash, the Chelsea megabar known for its tourist-heavy crowd, its off-the-wall Happy Hours, the magnificent videos that play on an endless loop (if you're lucky, you'll catch a number from some blown-out '80s musical or a specially edited Whitney Houston 'crack is wack' megamix), and BARTENDERS BARTENDERS BARTENDERS!!!! The most chiseled men in NYC stand behind the bar with their shirts off and their weewees bulging. As Ouizer said, 'This veers beyond the bizarre...and into the just plain ridiculous.'

Which is why we'll be boozing it up there this afternoon. To you, Ouizer!

Bewitched Bothered and Bewildered

I've been a long time supporter of Elliot, but I think he's dunzo. I'd like to see 'Pick Pickler' or 'Fool Man Dancing' get the boot, but they both probably have a few more weeks left in 'em.

The other four were all pretty good. Good job overall.

I am a little miffed that FOX missed a golden TV moment by having Trophy Wife and Token Baby accompany Rod to the shoot instead of Kim Stewart. She would've been all muggin' the camera and falling over. Boooo FOX!

Inappropriate crushes...I've had a few

I'm basically setting myself up for massive derision here, but I'd like to talk about a disease that has afflicted all of us at one time or another. It's the inappropriate crush, and I'm here to reveal a few of mine. Let me start by saying that IC Syndrome (as I'll call it here) can be of both the plebeain variety or the celebrity variety. I'll stick with the celebrity variety today. Those of you who know me know that I like my boys swarthy, short, and preferably Jewish. (Drum's not Jewish, but we can't win 'em all...plus he's my Drum! That's all that matters.) The A&F jock look has never quite appealed to me, though I certainly wouldn't kick a grade-A jock hottie out of my bed if he wanted to be there.



But I digress. I'm here to confess a few of my lustful sins. First of all, I sometimes fantasize about giving K. Fed a shower, washing his mouth out with some Listerine, checking him for STDs, getting the all clear, and just going at it for a few hours in the sack. Yes, I have an inapprorpiate crush on K. Fed. And you can eff off if you think that's gross. Another inappropriate crush? Sean Paul. I know...weird. He looks like he has pot-and-meat patty breath, but there's something about those cornrows and those little homie outfits that make me a little hot under the collar. Finally, there's Dave Navarro. I've been crushing on Dave since back in the day when he was making music with Jane's Addiction and The Red Hot Chili Peppers. The eyeliner...that chest...those pierced nipples...those tattoos...the vague hints that he liked to screw around with boys when he was in the mood...it all turned me on. His horrific MTV show with Carmen Electra was enough to (pretty much) turn me off, but again, inappropriate attractions never really die. They just lay dormant until you remember how much you'd pay to bump and grind with a skeeve.



So there. I confessed my sins. Now somebody else, could you PLEASE share in this roundelay of wrong and add your inappropriate crushes? Don't leave me twisting in the wind here, people.

Do you wanna ride in my Mercedes boy (ry-ee-ide)

I truly believe that music will never be as good as it was in the late 80's. I was watching "My Super Sweet 16" the other day where they focused on the (heinous) son of L.A. and Perri Reid. Perri Reid is none other than the 80's Latin Freestyle queen herself, "Pebbles." Pebbles gave us gems such as "Mercedes Boy," and "Giving you the Benefit." And of course, "Girlfriend." I remember bopping down the street singing "I'm out the door babe... there's other fish in the SEA" when I was 10. She will forever have a special place in my heart and I wish her the best. She probably doesn't need my well wishes - she looks pretty well taken care of by pimp daddy L.A. Reid. I do feel sorry that she has a black "Agustus Gloop" for a son though... (have you y'all SEEN his episode of Super Sweet 16?!).

oops! should I leave them a note?

"I just took it."

"I'm on my second."

Embarrassing British Homo #2 must have had a long night at da club, because he dozed off at the wheel and crashed into three park cars Saturday.

Dude. Clean it up. Call a cab.

Fingerhuttin' Bitch: Idol Edition

Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah fingerhuttin' bitch! (btw - I don't remember why we dubbed her a fingerhuttin' bitch in the first place... anyone?) Anyway, I just wanted to share this pic of Season 2 American Idol hopeful Trenyce, apparently dipped in Wesson oil and forced into spike heels. Loves it!

I’m confused by your behavior!

I know this is off what we normally do here on RYBS, but…

I was walking through a random hallway at work today and I passed by a man I had never seen before. He was a little older, maybe in his mid-50’s, nicely dressed, crisply ironed shirt, tie and all. I’m pretty sure he was straight. As I passed, I smiled what I hoped was politely, silently wondering how fast I could get back to my desk without having to smile at strangers. He returned my greeting by…wait for it…winking. What does this mean? Who winks? I’m seriously asking you… who winks at someone they’ve never seen before?

I realize I might be over-thinking a simple wink, but this little run-in reminded me of a situation that occurred a few years back, before I got a new job and switched insurance carriers. I had been to a particular doctor for a few relatively uneventful visits. I was getting up to leave on my second or third visit when he leaned towards me and…wait for it…hugged me. Yes, hugged me. Since I do not in fact have a soul and get uncomfortable hugging my own boyfriend and mother, needless to say I was speechless. I immediately called my boyfriend after stepping out of the office and asked him to confirm this was odd behavior. I mean, I didn’t feel like it was a sexual act, but what doctor hugs his patient, especially after only a handful of visits?

Next visit, the exact same thing happened. Based on the repeat behavior, I was starting to think perhaps he did want to turn me around and do it doggy style. The following visit, he hugged me outside the actual examination room, in the hallway, in front of other patients and nurses. This I found even more disturbing. Clearly this was NOT sexual, but in fact perceived normal behavior on his part. I never got to the bottom of it.

Riffing on sexual harassment, the last thing I will leave you with is the most disturbing thing that has ever been said to me in a gay bar. I was at Urge once on a Saturday night, and while waiting for the bathroom, a disgusting old man offered to give me drugs if I would hook up with him in the bathroom. And that wasn’t the disgusting part. While I thought I expressed to him my clear displeasure, he followed with a statement that is so wrong on so many levels I still cannot process it:

“You remind me of my son’s best friend.”

Freakout.

Can you trump me? Please share your most horrifying sexual harassment story…

It's like I can't breathe...

omg.

Kelly is touring again this summer.

With this, Madonna, and Mariah all giving shows,

this just might be the best summer ever!

Kell Bells, I'm addicted to you.

Idiots Shouldn't Lie, Part 1

Check it out. Hey honey, I have this super idea! Let's tell our blown local media outlets that we're going to have sextuplets so that we can prey upon some bleeding hearts and try to score some free shit. Maybe we can get 6 mini ipods or a packet of diapers from Costco. After we finish that job, let's drop by Wendy's so I can drop a finger in some chili, and then I'll say I was abducted by some dirty mexicans or scary black people. My god people are stupid.

The Day The Music Died

Sad news, folks. The San Francisco Gate is reporting that June Pointer, youngest member of The Pointer Sisters, died this morning of cancer. She was only 52. June sang lead on some of the Pointer Sisters' most well-known songs, including "Dare Me" (which was reissued as a chart-topping club remix last year called "Make Your Move"), "Baby Come & Get It", "He's So Shy", and the Cabinet's very own theme song, "Jump". A sad, sad, sad, sad day.

Act of Contrition

I can't believe it's come to this. I grew up refusing to watch or endorse anything that was even remotely sci fi/fantasy-related, so now, whenever anybody brings up movies or TV shows like V, Legend, The Never-Ending Story, or The Secret of Nimh, I simply cringe and walk away. I felt the same way about Star Trek, the Star Wars series (which I've since seen and loved), and anything Lord of the Rings-related. And do NOT get me started on Harry Potter. Anything that requires a family tree and knowledge of a new language was always death to me, never mind that I can turn on a soap opera and be instantly hooked.

A couple of years ago, when everybody and their brother was BLOW!ing out about the Lord of the Rings trilogy, my friend Caroline and I talked about making t-shirts that read 'HUMANS NOT HOBBITS' to express our disdain for any popular narrative that includes things like robots, cyborgs, or flying whozeewhatsits. What can I say? I've always had an aversion to outer space.

But last weekend, Drum was down sick with a stomach bug, and we popped in the mini-series and first season of Battlestar Galactica, Sci Fi Channel's update of the late '70s TV show that was always being rerun on channel 53 where I grew up. Because we had nowhere to go but the couch, Drum and I ended up getting through the first ten hours of the series. And holy shit, I AM HOOKED!!

The premise of the series is basic: Human-created Cylons have been engaged in a 40-year war with the humans on the planet Caprica. When they return to Caprica's atmosphere and basically BLOW! out the entire planet, less than 50,000 survivors escape in a fleet that includes the Battlestar, and head for the mythical 13th planet, which is also known as...Earth. Captain Adama leads the Battlestar; his hot, buff son Apollo is the renegade fighter; Mary McDonnell plays President Roslin, the steel magnolia who purrs out orders and never breaks a sweat. (Honestly, this lady is a gay icon in the making.) The whole show is fast-paced, easy to understand, politically relevant, and freakin' sexy, too.

So yeah, I love me a sci-fi show. The day had to come...I'm just glad it's a show that's proven to be more than worth my time.

"I think he looks very... regal."

Mariah was recently spotted wearing next to nothing on the beach again. This time she was rockin' the side-ponytails during a Caribbean vacation in Antigua.

Don't forget, "Say Somethin'" will premiere simultaneously on TRL and MTV Overdrive at 3:30pm today.

Check out a quick behind-the-scenes interview with Meems and Pharrell here (AVI or MPG). She's totes loungin' Cleopatra style on the couch.

"on paper?"

Interesting night of Idol.

I'm thinking Ace is getting the boot this time. It was pretty much a wrap after Queen laughed at him about changing the arrangement of their song.
wow. awkward.


On the flip side, my favorites were Chris and Katharine.

Though my favorite moment of the night had to be Kellie's pelvic thrusts. Yeeeaaahhh! Dirrty!!! hahaha

One to Watch?, No. 1 in a series

Hey kids: I know we never actually went to see Aquamarine, but should we be paying attention to Emma Roberts? Her name keeps popping up, she's Hoo-lia's niece, and her name keeps popping up in my face. Hmmm...

Jumps We Love, No. 2 in a series

All of us here at Read Your Blog, Shelby! have neglected to mention our field trip to see Basic Instinct 2 last Sunday afternoon at the Loews Village VII. And perhaps that's because we're all still in something like septic shock since we watched The Divine Miss Sharon Stone vamp and camp her way through two hours of a rather engrossing eroti-thriller (oh, who knows if it's a real word...it's BLOW!n and that's all that matters) that tanked at the box office. The Cabinet has a long history of outings to see crappy flicks with big-name stars, real gems like Swept Away, Twisted, Soul Plane, Gigli, Alone in the Dark, Catwoman, and My Boss' Daughter. (Wow...we should be proud.)

The words 'glee' and 'elation' don't quite describe our reaction to a movie that lets Sharon Stone purr about characters named Dickie Papp, straddle a chair while trying to seduce her psychologist, or use the declarative 'I'm going to go take a jacuzzi' as a verbal come-on. It would be something more like 'thankful,' because year after year, Sharon BLOW!s it into a class of her own -- and the lady looks fucking hot, to boot. Who else could throw heaps of fundraising money for AIDS research while also cringing at the side of her newspaper magnate husband as he's being bitten in the foot by a komodo dragon? Who else could look so glamorous while nursing a brain tumor? (The only thing funny about that situation, by the way, is the incongruity.) Who else could command a $14 million salary for basically just running around like she's in a bad true-crime TV movie?

Nobody, which is why we give Sharon our undivided attention each time she re-enters our world. We love you, Sharon! We want you to LIVE!

Ay, Dios mio!

Okay, so: The Mexicans are all like, 'Hey, we work under slave-like conditions to provide you with running water, plump vegetables, and clean mansions,' and the Americans are all, 'Yeah, but we're Amurricans and we're, like, hardcore and shit and you can't just come on over here and burden us and have little Mexican children and clog up our already shitty school systems, y'hear?' So the politicians are all, 'Hup-hup, hup-hup, let's go on Meet the Press and yammer on about how there's an 'alien invasion' in our country and if it's not stopped, it'll be like terrorists taking over our land.' [Really, gentlemen! Get a grip...] But more than that, the politicians and wonks with bad hair are all like, 'Hey, and why are you people waving Mexican flags if you want to live here so badly?'

To which I say: Shut the FUCK up! Excuse me, sirs, but just under a month ago, I walked through a Manhattan that was festooned with Irish flags in honor of National Let's Get Drunk on Green Beer Day. I walk through the neighborhoods of Chelsea, West Hollywood, Dupont Circle, and South Beach, and I see rainbow flags for my gurls. I stroll through Little Italy and hear the sounds of Italian music blaring from overpriced restaurants offering gnocchi specials. So how is it any different that people who were born in Mexico but have chosen to come here for a better life--or even more, their children who were, like it or not, born here--wave the flag of their home country when they protest for their rights as citizens of the world?

Please answer this question without sounding like publicity-driven assholes, and I'll start listening.

Thank youuuuu!!

"Well played, peeps. Well played."

While gearing up for the 3rd season of arguably MTV's best show, "My Super Sweet Sixteen"(April 12th), I've been strolling down memory lane with my favorite season 2 chick, Sophie.

Click here for an interview she did with Teen People.

Watch her outakes and the Sweet Sixteen reunion here at MTV Overdrive.

ps... these clips are best enjoyed with a refreshing coffee coolatta. Viva la Sophie.

if it's worth your while...

Get ready lambs!

According to MariahDaily, the video for "Say Somethin'" will premiere on TRL this Wednesday. Miss Carey is expected to make an appearance as well. Hopefully the video will be over-the-top beasty, because a more subdued video for "Fly Like a Bird" is expected to surface later this month.

After you buy your Madonna tickets this Monday, start saving your pennies for the other big tour of the summer. Yes, Mimi will be hitting the road again. This time, as opposed to her scaled-down "Charmbracelet" tour, she will be playing amphitheaters and arenas.

Goodtimes.

Knocked Out

Paula Abdul says some man at a private party assaulted her, grabbing her arm and throwing her against a wall.

Now Paula, if you keep on forgetting your safety word, then how's Corey supposed to know when to stop?


ps... check out the little sticker on the bottom right hand corner of this exercise video. Clearance bin jumpoff. Yeeeaaahhh!

Jack, I swear.

Wal-Mart may love families, but they love their money more.

Despite pressure from the American Family Association, not only is Wal-Mart selling the "Brokeback Mountain" DVD, but they have prominent displays in their stores. Kudos to them.

According to Pink, Brokeback sold 1.4 million copies in it's first day.
Not too shabby.

No Excuses!

Ah, YouTube continues to console me in my time of need, as time and time again I am disappointed in the television follies of today. M'Lynn and Shelby, bear witness to your idol Tonya Harding's, um, graceful 1992 Olympic Free Skate. This routine brings a whole new level to the term BLOWN!, and shows exactly why the rest of the world thinks Americans are disgusting, trashy pigs. Vive La Kerrigan! P.S. The chain-smoker hacking at the kiss-and-cry at the end is the BEST!

What the FUCK?!

Just as soon as I recovered from the shock of seeing Mandisa sent packing on 'American Idol' (no, she wasn't so good for the past two weeks, but COME ON, AMERICA!), I got slapped in the face by Miss Tyra and her band of idiot judges, who sent my 'Top Model' favorite, Mollie Sue, back home so she could find her personality. (I have my theories on why she seems held back, but I'll save those for another day.)

Do you mean to tell me, Tyra, that the gorgeous and mysterious Mollie Sue deserved the boot before fugly-ass Brooke, lame-o Sarah, AND the endlessly entertaining (but OUTRIGHT ANNOYING) Jade (pictured above)??!?!!! Come ON, woman! Give the people what they want.

At this point, I'm rooting for Nnenna, Danielle, and Joanie (as long as she gets that wayward tooth fixed). Ugh. Last night was not a pleasant one for this reality TV whore.

gorgeous little things

Hot Tamale.

D&G's new ads feature five beautiful italian footballers.

Let's go girls!

awww... Mandisa.

You did it to yourself, gurl.

Everybody knows that Shania is box office poison.

Good luck, I'll miss ya.

What Ever Happened to Katie Holmes?

So, I was inspired by an article I read in am New York this morning about the upcoming TomKat nuptials, and our favorite little person's quote:

"I WON'T LET THIS WOMAN GET AWAY".

Um, scary much? I mean, you KNOW at this point Katie is frantically peeking out behind closed blinds, trying to mouth the words "help me" to passersby. We can only speculate what's happening behind closed doors, but I myself was imagining a modern day version of the Joan Crawford / Bette Davis camp classic "What Ever Happened to Baby Jane?" Think about it: Our lil' Tommy is Jane Hudson, the faded star dragging down Katie, the movie star forced into retirement and isolation. Except this time the "accident" is Katie's pregnancy, and she is being imprisoned by Scientology instead of a wheelchair. Of course, then I thought about lil' Tommy in a baby girl's dress, caked with make-up, and singing and dancing to "I've Written a Letter to Daddy".

These are the kind of thoughts that keep me up at night. Clearly I need help.

I shouldn't give them any more publicity, but...

I've been tracking these girls for some time, and have been meaning to post about them on the blog. Click here for a pretty in depth article about Prussian Blue, these pretty little blonde 13-year old twins who are white nationalists and sing about ethnic cleansing. You're thinking, um, wtf? Exactly. I shouldn't be even reading about them but I just find it fascinating in the same sick kind of way you'd stop and stare at a bloody train wreck. Yikes!

Suck on it, Giada

Hi, let me plaster on an insincere smile for you.

I'm strongly considering choking you.

My boyfriend has converted me into a Food Network addict. Every weekend, we watch Sandra Lee, the crazed middle-aged Barbie who makes borderline insane safari tablescapes and "recipes" consisting of, liked, canned pineapple and seasoning packets from the grocery store. We watch Ina Garten, a poosty Hamptons fag-hag go about her daily "I am more fabulous than you will ever be" routine and make barbecue sauces containing over 50 ingredients, and always - always - cautioning to use the "good vanilla" (god forbid you use any ingredients that can be found in a plebeian supermarket). And of course we watch our absolute favorite, Paula Deen, the "bless this kitchen" affable Southern cook that I always picture to be Truvy's mom and who makes every dish with literally 6 sticks of butter and a pound of sugar.

However. The one show that I cannot, CANNOT stand is Giada De Laurentiis' Everyday Italian. I cannot handle this woman. First of all, she cooks all these fatty, cheesy dishes and yet is a size zero with tits pushed up to her chin. Uh-huh. Let's see....what else.... Every time she stumbles across an Italian word she has to pronounce it in the most obnoxious American I- learned- a- second- language- at- home- so- I'm- better- than- you dialect. "Mo-zz-a-RELL-a!" "Ciiiia-BATT-a!" How about, shut the fuck up? Also, periodically throughout the show as she's working, she looks up, stares directly into the camera, and plasters on this insanely uncomfortable, unnatural smile. It looks like she's flying on cocaine. But the absolute worst, the part that really seals the deal, is when she closes the show by "entertaining". She invites all of her horrible, horrible L.A. friends over to the house, forces them to work first while bossing her way around the kitchen, and then they all sit around the backyard afterwards clinking glasses at how boring and L.A. they all are as she scrapes around for compliments.

There, I said it.