Inappropriate crushes...I've had a few

I'm basically setting myself up for massive derision here, but I'd like to talk about a disease that has afflicted all of us at one time or another. It's the inappropriate crush, and I'm here to reveal a few of mine. Let me start by saying that IC Syndrome (as I'll call it here) can be of both the plebeain variety or the celebrity variety. I'll stick with the celebrity variety today. Those of you who know me know that I like my boys swarthy, short, and preferably Jewish. (Drum's not Jewish, but we can't win 'em all...plus he's my Drum! That's all that matters.) The A&F jock look has never quite appealed to me, though I certainly wouldn't kick a grade-A jock hottie out of my bed if he wanted to be there.



But I digress. I'm here to confess a few of my lustful sins. First of all, I sometimes fantasize about giving K. Fed a shower, washing his mouth out with some Listerine, checking him for STDs, getting the all clear, and just going at it for a few hours in the sack. Yes, I have an inapprorpiate crush on K. Fed. And you can eff off if you think that's gross. Another inappropriate crush? Sean Paul. I know...weird. He looks like he has pot-and-meat patty breath, but there's something about those cornrows and those little homie outfits that make me a little hot under the collar. Finally, there's Dave Navarro. I've been crushing on Dave since back in the day when he was making music with Jane's Addiction and The Red Hot Chili Peppers. The eyeliner...that chest...those pierced nipples...those tattoos...the vague hints that he liked to screw around with boys when he was in the mood...it all turned me on. His horrific MTV show with Carmen Electra was enough to (pretty much) turn me off, but again, inappropriate attractions never really die. They just lay dormant until you remember how much you'd pay to bump and grind with a skeeve.



So there. I confessed my sins. Now somebody else, could you PLEASE share in this roundelay of wrong and add your inappropriate crushes? Don't leave me twisting in the wind here, people.