Jennifer Holliday

Yeeeaaahhh!
The O.G. J.Holliday blows her tits off for the fine folks on the red carpet at the 2007 Oscar's (well, actually... they put her way on top of a big building so no one could see her throwing drama and death stares at J.Hud, but at least she was there).

smell ya later.

Check it.
This guy conned a swiss newspaper into publishing a fake Gucci ad he made of himself, and then he had them charge Gucci the $50,000 ad fee.
Outrageous.

Break me off a piece of THAT!

Hot tamale.
My Bf (left) and his BFF
at the Oscars.

From what to what?!

This just in!
I just found out that Dreamgirl Anika Noni Rose was in "From Justin to Kelly" and still managed to have a career.
Wow, will wonders never cease.

Lay off me I'm STARVING!

I was trolling around the internet this morning looking for the latest and greatest Antonella Barba pics, and happened upon this awesome picture of Kell Bells frantically shoving some kind of messy sandwich into her cakehole.

Her friend there in the front is staring down, contemplating "Should I? I wonder how many calories are in this. Maybe I should just do the chew and spit so that I don't look like a tank in this bathing suit." Not our Kelly. She's 'lil debbie. She's unhinging her jaw and will swallow that baby in three bites, tops. I get the feeling if you tried to interrupt her feeding frenzy you'd be in risk of losing an eye.

Amy Winehouse - Rehab

I dig it.

"Candyman" Video

Ok, gurls: The video is in and it's on FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRE. Check it out here. I must say Xtina has really been proving her worth lately, displaying why I long ago selected her as my diva of choice. Can't wait for my head to explode in concert on March 23rd!

Idol Round-up

Let's Start with the girls.

First of all, Miss Lakisha not only blew out that song,
but she even made crazy eyes.
If J.Hud doesn't wanna do 'The Broadway'
(as Ashtray would call it),
I'm sure homegirl would do just fine.

Second of all, there's good news.

All of the nubian princesses can SANG.

Please stand when you applaud.

Nicole Tranquillo looks like the Target Lady on SNL.

And Jersey Girl Antonella Barba annoys me.

Please. Leave.

On to the guys.

Chris Richardson is the cutest.

Phil Stacey should ALWAYS wear a hat.

And Blake Lewis is my favorite.

I wouldn't be mad if he won.

All in all, I guess I'm finally ready for a good season of Idol.

I'll ne'er tire of it.

ps... check out Judge Jru, he has a nice rundown of the night,

AND some myspace-type photos of Antonella Barba gone wild.

Yeeeaaahhh!

Xtina Brings Down the House

Sorry it's taken me so long to post this. This was off the CHARTS, y'all!

FE Fi Fo Fum

Click on the title for a story that has totally made my week.

Britty's ex-assistant, Felicia Culotta (aka Fe),is tattling as if there is no tomorrow. If RYBS endorses anything it's 1. Tattling and 2. Fe.

She was the perfect assistant. ALWAYS there for Britty. She even committed to staying homely and chubby so that her boss wouldn't feel less pretty. That is true loyalty, folks.

Now Fe is jumping on the "Brit is a mess and will end up like Anna Nicole if she doesn't clean up" bandwagon. Actually, if you read her "plea," it's more a display of silent rage that has been building over 10 years. I love it. Jayden James and Sean Preston should just go live with Fe!

Update: I just read that Fe is now working as a flight attendant and substitute preschool teacher! If I was on a plane, looked up and saw Fe pushing a cart asking me if I wanted chicken or beef I'd BLOW out!!

Still Getting There

My Dear Nippy,

I know you are taking slow but sure steps these days, and the photograph above evidences that you have not lost your way yet. But WHERE. Oh WHERE. Is your new music? Looking fantabulous in public is a new thing for you, I get this. Enjoy it. But get back into the studio, gurl! Even "Love That Man" from your craptastic ...Just Whitney was enough to tide me over for a few years, but we're going on five now and I need some reassurance that you still got it!

My advice: record a cool song that all the kids will like. THEN, celebrate Bobbi Kristina's Sweet 16 in a BIG WAY. On TV! With the cameras rolling. On MTV. We'll eat it up. Bobbi Kris will be beaming in the wings. Your fans will be at your beck and call. And a whole new generation of youths will be inspired by the Greatest Voice of All.

xoxo,

Your #1 Fan Ouizer

I'm Still Not Convinced, Clairee

I know you tried to defend her a few posts below, Clairee, by saying that Joss Stone (a/k/a the Barefoot Contessa) was completely harmless. I submit THIS atrocity as evidence to the contrary...

Me & Naomi And This Water!!!

Oh Mary. Mary, Mary, Mary. I keep hearing you talk about what a good person you are now and how much you've changed for the better. Then WHY??? Tell me why. You seem SO excited to have THIS pig at your Pre-Grammy's Party at Boulevard. I'll pray for you.

God, I Hate This Night!!!

Well, boys and girls, my favorite night of the year has once again come and gone, and GURLS what a night! I had the good fortune of spending these Grammy's (after a few really BLEAK weeks personally) with Shelby, Truvy, Clairee (and Clairee's boo), and Annelle, and I don't think we've laughed harder EVER. First, I have to give a personal shout-out to Queen Mary (a/k/a M'Lynn)'s Chevrolet commercial, with her selling out SO hardcore, but for a good cause of course. As I (the other Queen Bee, Lil' Kim) would say, "I ain't mad, do your thing mommy, get that CASH!'.

Lord, I don't even know where to start. The Dixie Chicks go five for five (that's me, Shelby, and Truvy above from left to right in my FAVORITE pose ever, the 'So Many Grammy's I Don't Know What To Do With Them All!!!'). Queen Mary finally gets her due, opting for the Queenly Braids for the acceptance speech and then switching up the ensembles for a Roxie Roker Perfection Cootie Cutter Concoction to duet with Ludacris on "Runaway Train"...er, "Runaway Love". I (Beyonce) tear up the stage with "Listen", then win my TENTH Grammy (Who needs an Oscar nomination, anyway??? I have not nine but TEN Grammies!). Gremlin Madonna wins Best Electronic/Dance Album for Confessions on a Dancefloor. Heinous Hair lives up to her name with a stirring James Brown jumpoff, and ALSO walks away with Best Pop Female Vocal Performance for "Hein No Other Man". And there was a TOTAL blow in the fourth row - I'm talking about YOU Imogen Heap. Rat's nest in the hair is NEVER a good look!

Oh Grammy's, you always make my heart happy. And this year you more than delivered, you got me one step closer to the Light. I can't wait for my handful, and I'll make sure to thank each and every one of you (including You, God) as I trip my way up to the podium in vintage Yves Saint Laurent.

Kimberley Locke - "Change"

Kimberley Locke's new single "Change" has been my guiltiest of pleasures lately. It's a textbook pop power ballad with a great melody - one that fully lends itself to some gay dance remixes. I look forward to hearing this on future Friday nights at Splash. Video here.

Heinous Hair on Ellen - "Makes Me Wanna Pray"

Pure, over-the-top, outrageous beastiness. Gotta love it.

Hilary Duff - "With Love"

Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah hot new trashy Hilary Duff Song. Video here. Download mp3 here.

Joss Stone - "Tell Me 'Bout It"

I know there are a lot of haters in the cabinet, but I find her perfectly harmless. The new single pretty much sounds like everything else she's ever done which is foin...by...me. Video here. Download mp3 here.

Liza Minnelli - All That Jazz 1981

I think Shelby should wear this outfit for the next Pier Dance.

Candyman Jump

Been meaning to post this for awhile. Here's my girl on the set of "Candyman". Can't wait for more heinous hair!

Mika - Grace Kelly

I have a feeling this will be very controversial, but I love this song. Know next to nothing about the artist, but love this song.

Give Her a Happy Face

I couldn't resist another one. I think of Mrs. Ackerman on almost a daily basis because I have a trash chute on my floor in my building and I'm always shoving inappropriate shit down it.

Listen to Your Filthy Mouth, You Fucking Whore!

What does it say about me that "Serial Mom" was my favorite movie when I was in high school?

Straight Men + Steam Rooms = Bad News Bears

The Reluctant Receptionist thought this little anecdote of mine was amusing. Might as well share it with you blows, too.

Justin and Pink: Pop Extravaganza

Justin Timberlake and Pink were at MSG this week, so it should be no big shocker that I was there. I mean, I am the man who over the course of the last year has managed to see live such pop artists as Madonna, Christina Aguilera, Kelly Clarkson, Jennifer Lopez, and even Ashlee Simpson.

I won’t bother blabbering on about Pink’s “Cirque du Soleil”-esque act, since you’ve all undoubtedly read about it on every gay blog around town. But I will say that bitch can blow it live. It was a tight 45 minute set, consisting basically of hit after hit. My head started to expand during “U + Ur Hand” and “Who Knew”. It would have exploded had I heard “God is a DJ” or “You Make Me Sick”.

What I saw of Trousersnake’s set was good, although I’m embarrassed to say that we left shortly after he began his second set. And here’s why (besides the fact that this bitch is OLD and it was in fact a school night.): I’m just more of a fan of JT’s second album than his first. Fortunately for me, he frontloaded all the songs I wanted to hear, so after opening the second set with “Rock Your Body”, I realized that the only other song I wanted to hear was “Cry Me a River” and that that would probably be an encore. Sadly, the intermission featuring Timbaland’s 30-minute set managed to completely kill the 2-martini buzz I earned before the concert. And so I came to realize that my boyfriend and I were, in fact, surrounded by bleak teens. The bleakest, a boy in front of us I nicknamed “Brandon Davis” because he was wide, oily, and obnoxious, managed to get busted by security because he was smoking a cigarette in the middle of MSG and dancing like Paris and Nicky. I prefer to think he got busted for dancing like Paris and Nicky. But I digress. Following “Rock Your Body”, Justin proclaimed he was going to “take it easy for a few songs”. The boyfriend and I took one look at each other and bolted. Because here’s the thing: I don’t want to hear Justin sing multiple ballads in a shaky falsetto. I certainly don’t want to listen to Justin speak. I want him to take off his shirt and dance. That’s it.

Final note: we apparently didn’t have it the worst with regard to crowd. Comparing notes the next day with Shelby’s gal, she said she saw a mother with two children who each had fur coats. FUR COATS. On CHILDREN. What kind of deranged NYC bullshit is that?

Finally

Danity Kane is not dead.

It warmed my heart to see pics of a few of them on the major blogs today. Of course, leave it to mega-BEAST Aubrey O'Day (aka Ouizer) to get a buzz going with her hein-ola hair, makeup and dress she wore at her recent birthday party. Yeeeeeeeah. She's rocking the "MK Olsen prom queen corpse" look. Iluvit.

Only 45 more days until the Cabinet sees Xtina, Pussycat Dolls and D. Kane at Madison Square Garden. I'll have a medical team there with me because my head WILL detach from my body.

Klaaaaaaassss

I know I'm not exactly breaking news when I report that Paris Hilton has done something offensive. Click on the link to this post for a video from parisexposed.com. Paris and her can't-design-a-handbag-worth-a-shit sister Nicky are at some party calling some guy a faggot and saying they look like niggers because they are dancing to a Biggie song.

Okay, yes, those words are offensive. But what I find more offensive is the HEINOUS movement those girls are doing. They think it's dancing but dear god, it's so far from that. Seriously. It's like Elaine from Seinfeld. And I don't think it's just because they are wasted in this clip. Hey bitches: stop your bodies, pleeeease!