God, I Hate This Night!!!

Well, boys and girls, my favorite night of the year has once again come and gone, and GURLS what a night! I had the good fortune of spending these Grammy's (after a few really BLEAK weeks personally) with Shelby, Truvy, Clairee (and Clairee's boo), and Annelle, and I don't think we've laughed harder EVER. First, I have to give a personal shout-out to Queen Mary (a/k/a M'Lynn)'s Chevrolet commercial, with her selling out SO hardcore, but for a good cause of course. As I (the other Queen Bee, Lil' Kim) would say, "I ain't mad, do your thing mommy, get that CASH!'.

Lord, I don't even know where to start. The Dixie Chicks go five for five (that's me, Shelby, and Truvy above from left to right in my FAVORITE pose ever, the 'So Many Grammy's I Don't Know What To Do With Them All!!!'). Queen Mary finally gets her due, opting for the Queenly Braids for the acceptance speech and then switching up the ensembles for a Roxie Roker Perfection Cootie Cutter Concoction to duet with Ludacris on "Runaway Train"...er, "Runaway Love". I (Beyonce) tear up the stage with "Listen", then win my TENTH Grammy (Who needs an Oscar nomination, anyway??? I have not nine but TEN Grammies!). Gremlin Madonna wins Best Electronic/Dance Album for Confessions on a Dancefloor. Heinous Hair lives up to her name with a stirring James Brown jumpoff, and ALSO walks away with Best Pop Female Vocal Performance for "Hein No Other Man". And there was a TOTAL blow in the fourth row - I'm talking about YOU Imogen Heap. Rat's nest in the hair is NEVER a good look!

Oh Grammy's, you always make my heart happy. And this year you more than delivered, you got me one step closer to the Light. I can't wait for my handful, and I'll make sure to thank each and every one of you (including You, God) as I trip my way up to the podium in vintage Yves Saint Laurent.