Beyonce on Oprah - "Listen"

Here's Beyonce tearing it up on Oprah with the apparent first single off of the "Dreamgirls" soundtrack - "Listen". Click here for an mp3.

Fantasia 2.0

Click here to preview some new 'Tasia tracks and here to download her first single, "Hood Boy". The album drops 12/12/2006.

Happy Gilmore

By popular demand...

Ted Haggard - Daily Show

I know this is totally old news, but I just saw this Daily Show clip. Incidentally, I'm obsessed that his last name is Haggard. Methinks "haggard" is the new "bleak".

Get in the car, Mom...we're taking a fun little trip!

A few months after moving to my current apartment on the upper east side, I was walking home from work. I was just a few blocks from my apartment, and was strolling past a building I must have passed hundreds of times before. However, this time a subtle plaque affixed to the building happened to catch my eye.

Some of you out there might believe in fate. You do? Well you're stupid. You must be a whiner and lazy and people must hate you. I bet they're talking about you behind your back right this minute. You should probably kill yourself...it's what's "in the cards". But I digress. While I'm not one of those "fate" people, I do, however, appreciate that chance sometimes throws you a bone. Sometimes you can just have a lucky day. This my friends, was such a day.

The plaque read "Burden Center for the Aging". It took a moment for this information to process in my brain, to simmer a bit. So I did a double-take. Yep, I did in fact read that correctly. "Burden Center for the Aging". I stopped and stared at the plaque, baffled. It took me a few more firings of the old neurons before I realized that what I was staring at was an elderly organization named after someone with the last name Burden. But the first name had been dropped off. Um, comic gold. You cannot make that shit up.

Fortunately, gays and gals, that not only do I not believe in fate but I also don't believe in heaven or hell. Which is a damn good thing considering where I'd end up. That said, if there is such a thing as karma, I'm pretty much screwed. The fact I still laugh to this day when I pass that plaque, well, I've pretty much guaranteed the twilight of my life to some serious bouts of elder abuse.

I'm preparing myself for that possibility with the hope that as I get pushed down that final flight of stairs, I will be able to think back to that plaque, smile, and say to myself "Clairee, it was still worth it...because that shit was fucking HILARIOUS".

Stefy - Hey School Boy

Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaah Stefy! I particularly love the chorus, which sounds like Pat Benatar.

on the sauce

HOT!
Word on da street is that Kim Stewart, 27, has liver damage from too much drinking!
I know it's not really funny when someone is diagnosed with something so serious, but it's K.Stew ya'll.
Ya gotta laugh, especially since she's now denying it!
"Girl you know it's true! ooh ooh ooooh..."
Outrageous.

more JHud news

Homegirl just got signed to J Records.

Things are looking good for our girl.

and ps... the cabinet would just like it to be documented that we called this from the get-go. When we saw this chick audition on Idol, we were like, "now that's a star". We wish you all the best, JHud!

Audition:

Video

MP3

"got a little messy last night."

YES!

Now THIS I like.

THIS, I want to see more of.

Britney on the prowl with everyone's favorite party girl.

Goodtimes.

More pics here.

c'mon big baby, c'mon.

Ummm... Talk about being lil' debbie!

Some Like It Scott dug up the video for Beyonce's "One Night Only",

which is basically just performance clips from the film,

annnnd it looks amazing.

I'm on the edge of my seat for December 15th.

Look out Ziegfeld, here we come!

Heinous Hair Unleashed!

Just a few (FIERCE!) pics from Xtina's opening night.

More pics here and here.

Dreamgirl

So this is the Chick that won "America's Got Talent".

Her CD drops this Tuesday.

I don't know what it's gonna sound like,

but check out her singing everybody's favorite showtune.

She's no JHud, but for an 11 year old white girl,

she blows her tits off.

Bianca Ryan - And I Am Telling You I'm Not Going

chicken nuggets... a cheeseburger, and a fry.

Check out this vintage footage of "Rainbow" era Mariah

(yeeeaaahhh! with her "Heartbreaker" jeans!)

just chillin on the couch, waiting to be interviewed.

This is a classic example of my favorite Mariah persona,

Laidback/Sarcastic/Apathetic Mariah.

Goodtimes.

Mariah Carey eating french fries

ps... "Guam" is the name of the dog at the end.

WHAT!?!?!! (Part 2)

WHAT!!!

I feel like Faith Hill!

My cutie husband-to-be, Mario Lopez, got robbed on "Dancing with the Stars" because Emmitt Smith won.

I'd like to give a big ol' BOOOOOOO to ABC-TV.

You guys suck.

WHAT!!!

I know this clip of Faith Hill blowing out is hella old,

but it still makes me giggle.

Bitch mos def deserves a BLOW! Award nom

for "Best Diva Blowout".

If there ever is a day that I'm nominated for

CMA Female Vocalist of the Year,

and I lose to Carrie Underwhelming,

I swear Faith, I will react in the same way, in your honor.

Goodtimes.

Faith Hill - WHAT!?!

Wind It Up!

Poor Fergie.

She was just getting started and now

Gwen shows back up to stomp all over her.

This song is club ready hotness,

and Miss Stefani looks fantastic.

Luvsit.

Gwen Stefani - Wind It Up

"For Your Consideration" Trailer

Click here to check out the "For Your Consideration" trailer. I'm totally lil' debbie now to see this movie.

My favorite line from this is Jennifer Coolidge's clueless producer reacting to the proposed movie poster:

"Someone's killed their children and made them into cookies. And I want to go see that!"

Faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaabulous...

I just grabbed these pics off of J-Hud's website:

Darling, you're a butterfly.

Mommie Dearest descending the stairs.

Bling by QVC.

Daphne Rubin Trainwreck

I love slamming Daphne Rubin Vega. Here are two reviews of the new Les Mis "revival" that make a special point of doing the same:

AM New York
NY Times

I literally started laughing out loud on the bus this morning on the way to work because the AM New York review was so mean. But I mean, c'mon, you don't cast Daphne Rubin Vega as Fantine in Les Miserables...that's just asking for trouble.

One Word

American Heritage Dictionary
Schadenfreude
scha-den-freu-de [shahd-n-froi-duh]
-noun
satisfaction or pleasure felt at someone else's misfortune.

The 2007 BLOW!ies: For Your Consideration

Oh, man. Denise Richards really put her foot in it this time, jizzum. Check out this story about how the ol' blowbag herself (she really is the MOST hein, isn't she?) had a hissy fit and threw a laptop computer over a balcony of her hotel in Vancouver, only to hit a little old lady. This story works it out on two separate angles: follies involving geriatrics, and follies involving Denise Richards. I think we can all agree that everybody wins here.

Get in the pocket!

Since I can't stop listening to Xtina's "Tell Me",

I'm constantly being reminded of the D.Hein version.

This clip is from "Making the Band 3 - Season 2 Finale"

(I love saying that),

and it's basically the moment I fell in love with the show.

Making the Band - Tell Me

I really didn't watch MTB3 - season 1,
and I only watched season 2 off and on,
but after seeing this finale, I was all lil' debbie for season 3.
Now don't get me wrong, I know Baby Jane sings this
about 500 times better than any of these chicks,

but before I had anything to compare it to,
I was all about Dominique's "Goosebump Factor"
and Aundrea "trying to put sex on it".
Goodtimes.

A personal plea from Shelby and M'Lynn

Hello Madam Speaker (how we love having a Madam Speaker!):

Shelby and I would like to request that you begin BLOW!ing, effective immediately. We have heard you speak and we can see the clear Crazy-Eyez Killah in you. We know you've got a little Teresa Heinz Kerry in your back pocket, and probably a lot of Hillary Rodham Clinton circa spring 1992 just waiting to spring forward. So bring it, Lady!

Go Nance! Go Nance! It's your majority...go Nance!

Iraq'd the vote...did you?

Drum and I walked up to our local junior high school and voted this morning. I'll keep the grandstanding brief today, but did want to remind all RYBS readers of voting age that I sure hope you go out and do it, too. If nothing else, the above video will remind you why you should, at the very least, go out and pretend that we still live in a democracy.

To the returns...!

I just have one question:

Why?

The long-awaited return of Why Are You Famous???

Look: does she even need a caption?

WHOA!

Ok, I know this is totally old news, but since I don't watch "Dancing with the Stars", this information is coming late to me: Joey Lawrence is looking SCARY.


I don't like the bald thing, and his muscles are starting to look a bit freakish. That said, I'll always have a soft spot for wavy-haired, Blossom-era Joey, e.g.


Incidentally, remember when they premiered his video "Nothin' My Love Can't Fix" right after an episode of Blossom? Well I certainly I do, because I was all 'lil debbie for that shit. Whoooooooooooo child!

Pit Bull Attacks Animal Control Lady

This clip has everything: an ominous voiceover, an animal attack, and a big, ranting blown woman in a pink nightgown (p.s. the clip has embedding disabled, so just lick on the YouTube logo to see it.)

South Park: Mary Kay Letourneau

South Park has been particularly hilarious lately. As most of you know, I am obsessed with the Mary Kay Letourneau scandal, so this episode was like crack-cocaine to me.

Diddy F. Christina Aguilera - Tell Me

We're currently loving the first album era hair did.

What the fug?

I just had to post this promo picture from the fourth season of 'The L Word' (returning Jan. 21, 2007! Yippee!), which now stars Cybill Shepherd and Marlee Matlin (ick). This has to be the most ridiculous case of airbrushing I've seen since they put Oprah's head on Ann-Margret's body back in the day over at TV Guide. Am I to believe that ANY of these women look like this?! And why the hell does Jennifer Beals look like Lurch in this picture? What's going on here? This isn't working for me...

Now I'm gonna need another FUCKING FACELIFT!*

Okay, I have no business posting shit today as I'm cramming for the GRE test (i.e. I'm sobbing over geometry problems).
BUT, I couldn't resist this. Click on the title of this post for the most random and hilarious photos of "bored couples." It totally made my day.
* A line from "Happiness," one of the sickest and best movies of all time.

Love Won Out

Sometimes those right-wing assholes really do make it so easy for those of us who KNOW we're fighting the good fight, don't you think?

Rockin' the stump

Jeezus Kuyst! Have you guys seen this ad near Union Square? It's on the side of a phone booth on 12th (or 13th?) and Broadway.

I spotted this gem one night with Ouizer and we had to stop for a photo op. Clairee, incidentally, has already fully explained why we love our B. Ham, so it was nice to get an update.

Hey B, thanks for (FINALLY) checking in with the Cabinet. Teen Choice just hasn't the same without ya. You should be a red carpet correspondent, or seat filler or something.