Where are you, Bethany?

Jeezus Kuyst... where are you? Let me count the ways we love you:

1). You are a shark survivor

2). You rock the stump

3). You successfully squeezed your 15 minutes into a fragrance

4). You gave an over-the-top acceptance speech at the Teen Choice Awards (see photo) giving shout-outs to JC

5). You used your good arm to throw snow in Central Park (see NY Post)

6). Speech impediment jumpoff

What's next? The cabinet awaits...