Get in the car, Mom...we're taking a fun little trip!

A few months after moving to my current apartment on the upper east side, I was walking home from work. I was just a few blocks from my apartment, and was strolling past a building I must have passed hundreds of times before. However, this time a subtle plaque affixed to the building happened to catch my eye.

Some of you out there might believe in fate. You do? Well you're stupid. You must be a whiner and lazy and people must hate you. I bet they're talking about you behind your back right this minute. You should probably kill yourself...it's what's "in the cards". But I digress. While I'm not one of those "fate" people, I do, however, appreciate that chance sometimes throws you a bone. Sometimes you can just have a lucky day. This my friends, was such a day.

The plaque read "Burden Center for the Aging". It took a moment for this information to process in my brain, to simmer a bit. So I did a double-take. Yep, I did in fact read that correctly. "Burden Center for the Aging". I stopped and stared at the plaque, baffled. It took me a few more firings of the old neurons before I realized that what I was staring at was an elderly organization named after someone with the last name Burden. But the first name had been dropped off. Um, comic gold. You cannot make that shit up.

Fortunately, gays and gals, that not only do I not believe in fate but I also don't believe in heaven or hell. Which is a damn good thing considering where I'd end up. That said, if there is such a thing as karma, I'm pretty much screwed. The fact I still laugh to this day when I pass that plaque, well, I've pretty much guaranteed the twilight of my life to some serious bouts of elder abuse.

I'm preparing myself for that possibility with the hope that as I get pushed down that final flight of stairs, I will be able to think back to that plaque, smile, and say to myself "Clairee, it was still worth it...because that shit was fucking HILARIOUS".