Poor Piggy

I know this may be hard to believe, but I am starting to feel bad for Fat Piggy Boiling In The Bath. I know she's heinous, but she has really gotten herself into a bind this time. The people at The View told her to pack up her wigs and her eyelashes and take a hike, and to drive the nail into the coffin, they hired archenemy Rosie O'Lesbo to take up the obligatory big girl's seat. It seems like the blood, sweat and tears of hard work at pilates was for naught. Putting half a dinner of grilled chicken and salad in a doggie bag as part of "portion control" seems to have totes been a waste. "Wasting away," said the producers of The View. "We need a woman with some meat on her bones, like Rosie O'Lesbo."

Meanwhile, I don't see or hear her taunting me with "Got BOGO on the brain???" on the Payless ads anymore, so that source of revenue seems to have dried up, too. I know that WE: Women's Entertainment offered to let her host Bridezillas, but I don't think Piggy likes that idea very much. She isn't peddling crappo casual wear or jewelry on ShopNBC, and I'm sure the bills from Miss Al's birthday party tonight can't be cheap.

I think, really, all she has left is that poor dog of hers, Pinkie. Now, I found it annoying that Paris brought her little rat dog Tinkerbell out everywhere with her. And I don't really care that Jessica's dog Daisy likes to travel in Louis Vuitton while Trashlee's dog likes to travel in Uggs (source: the ever trusty IN TOUCH!). And I can say that, without doubt, I am sure Pinkie does not like to be subjected to antics like Piggy cackling maniacally in front of the camera on the red carpet while clutching her like a new fur shrug. Never mind Poor Piggy...Poor Pinkie.



P.S. WHAT is that drawing on the boards behind Piggy and Pinkie? Is that someone shaking an oven stuffer or are my eyes deceiving me?