An open letter to Mother Nature

Look, bitch:

I'm tired of walking through puddles, fighting with my umbrella while it whips about due to the wind, and throwing on jackboots just so I can walk from the subway stop to the front door of my office building without soaking my feet like pickles. It's early June, and it's cold, wet, and windy outside. This is bullshit. I'm going to the beach for the first time this weekend, and the rest of the Cabinet will be sailing around Manhattan on a cruise ship. For everybody's sake, I implore you: Knock it off!!

xoxo
M'Lynn