I wish there was a blizzard tomorrow
I hate St. Patrick's day almost as much as Valentine's Day. Here's why:1). I'm going to have to stomach all the "obvious girls" at work who not only think it's cute that they're wearing some blown leprechaun sweater but feel the need to kid me that I "forgot" to wear green. Mmm-hmmm. As far as I'm concerned, these particular traditions/tortures should die after childhood - like gym class.
2). It's a national straight holiday, along the lines of Super Bowl Sunday or New Year's Eve. Seriously - they are ALLS about this shit. In fact, my boyfriend just told me some of the people at his work were actually taking the day off. wtf? Let me just make a sweeping statement - drunk straight people are scary! Normally boring people (especially ones with kids) + alcohol on "special occasions" = formula for disaster. Count on pub after pub spilling with over-the-hill frat boys with stomachs bulging from an entire day's worth of beer bongs and chicken wings.
3). I live on the upper east side, meaning there is NO DOUBT in my mind I will see some tragic girl vomiting on 2nd Avenue, somehow wasted by 6:00 pm. I kid you not I witness this every year.
My advice? Clairee advises you to grab a bottle of wine on the way home, order in chinese, and hide your ass until Saturday morning when the streets will be safe for us gurls once again. GOOD LUCK!
posted by Clairee at 3/16/2006 09:57:00 PM
4 Comments:
how on earth did you get a picture of me doing a beer bong?
9:15 AM, March 17, 2006
Oh, Clairee, you speak the words of thousands. Drum and I are not going near a door this evening—once we are home, we are STAYING home. We live right across the street from this blown old-school Irish restaurant/pub whose owner last year assaulted AND SHOT a dark-skinned man and called him a terrorist one evening. (He was drunk. Duh.) So, um, yeah. I'm indoors as soon as I get home.
9:29 AM, March 17, 2006
guilty as charged
11:31 AM, March 17, 2006
uh huh, uh huh, uh huh.
St. P Day has always seemed like a dumb holiday to me. Already, two obvi girls here at work have given me a leprechaun button to wear, as well as a flashing four-leaf clover with the words "Guinness Beer" printed on it. Hein.
I said thank you and immediantly misplaced them. Another chick refused to let me watch "The Price is Right" this morning because "the parade is on!" Snore.
Incidentally, we are about half staffed today because everyone is home, getting ready to rage tonight. Not me, I'll be home babysitting my TV. Mobs of drunk straight people scare the shit outta me.
11:58 AM, March 17, 2006
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