'Breast pumps are right over in aisle 15, Ma'am...'

Ain't nothing I love more than a big bowl of crunchy ghetto fabulousness to kick off my Saturday mornings, and this morning, Justine Deceus delivered. Literally! Bitch went into a South Florida Wal-Mart to get a new car seat, and--oopsy daisy!--she walked out with a bouncing new baby daughter, Helesia.

This is all very Natalie Portman in Where the Heart Is, but it's also a little tragic. Justine gave birth in the LAYAWAY DEPARTMENT of the store. Eeesh! At least if she'd been popping a squat in the candle aisle at Target, I would have held out some semblance of hope for the kid.