And the weeeiners are...

Well, folks...what can we say? It was a BLOW! One of the tenets of The Cabinet's foundation is a shared love and appreciation for a BLOW!, which, in layman's terms, stands for a person, place, thing or event that personifies a total loss of common sense and balance. When a celebrity cuts their knee on a teacup at Bryan Adams' mansion, that's a BLOW! When Dick Cheney shoots a friend while hunting, he BLEW! it out. When there's a major lightning storm in New York City, we look out our windows at the sky and say to ourselves, 'Yep, it's a BLOW!' And when we hit the town for a night at The Roxy, we plan for a BLOW! You get the point. We've taken the concept so ridiculously far that we finally decide to hold our very own awards show.

So...on Saturday evening, the 2nd Annual BLOW! Awards (a.k.a. The BLOW!ies) were held at M'Lynn and Drum's place downtown, and all members of The Cabinet were in attendance to honor the best and brightest messes of 2005. We'll save you the dirty details of how the night progressed, but suffice it to say that the impending arrival of a major nor'easter--which turned out to pull some of our attention with a record-setting BLOW! of its own--tried to trump our proceedings.

Didn't happen. With a slew of televised performances from Liza Minnelli, Barbra Streisand, Mary J. Blige and Whitney Houston, Tina Turner, Elton John, and Cher, and Mariah Carey--along with videos from Sheryl Lee Ralph (why???!), The Pointer Sisters, Debbie Gibson, and Paula Abdul--there was no shortage of great entertainment between our visits to the bar for champagne and vodka...and our visits to the bookcase for, um, yeah.

All members of the Cabinet (and in-laws) handed out awards. The winners were as follows:

[Scientific and Technical Awards portion]
Best Regional BLOW!: The Transit Strike, New York City

[Main show portion]
Celebrity BLOW! of the year: Lindsay Lohan
Real Life BLOW! of the year: Marguerite Perrin (a.k.a. "God Warrior")
Celebrity BLOW!n moment of the year: Tom Cruise goes insane on 'The Oprah Winfrey Show'
Real-life BLOW!n moment of the year: Anna Ayala (a.k.a. "That Lady Who Put A Finger In Her Wendy's Chili Bowl")
Cabinet BLOW!n moment of the year: [tie] Shelby taking a morning flight to Mexico after a very, er, LONG night of clubbing; Ouizer's numerous "incidents" with the authorities throughout the year
BLOW!n live performance of the year: Ashlee Simpson at the Orange Bowl
BLOW!n song of the year: "Jesus, Take the Wheel" (Carrie Underwood)
BLOW!n video of the year: "These Boots Were Made for Walkin'" (Jessica Simpson)
BLOW!n TV show of the year: Taradise (E!) (awarded to Tara Reid)
BLOW!n film of the year: Alone in the Dark (awarded to Tara Reid)
Cabinet BLOW! of the year: Field trip to Roxy nightclub, New York City, to see Madonna appear live onstage (Oct. 23, 2005)

And our very first winner for the Liza Minnelli Lifetime Achievement Award:

COURTNEY LOVE!!

Congratulations...and keep BLOW!in' to all of our deserving winners!

Kiss kiss,
The Cabinet