Outrageous...we're on a gluttony tour..

Ok, so my boyfriend and I just got back from a Royal Caribbean cruise to Mexico. Now, I can't say it was ever a goal of mine to go on a cruise. Besides an irrational fear of falling overboard and being ripped to shreds by sharks, I was under the impression that cruises were for trashy old people. Well, I got the second half right - there were in fact a lot of trashy people on our cruise, young and old alike. That said, it was fabulous. Cruises can be best described as Las Vegas on the water - but better. After a gut-busting breakfast buffet, you sit by the pool and binge on drinks all day, perhaps stumble into your stateroom in the afternoon for a nap, then head to an amazing four-course dinner, drinking and gambling, and late-night drinking (notice a theme here?) in the nightclub.

But what really sealed the deal on this experience was witnessing the MIDNIGHT BUFFET. Yes, a mere two hours after the second seating dinner has ended, the staff rolls out this ridiculous buffet full of poosty food like caviar and sushi (and yes, those pictures above I took are in fact of a chocolate elephant and Santa and his reindeer - I believe crafted out of pastry). After picture hour is over, a mob of gluttons literally stampede each other to eat all this shit. It is appalling...and hilarious. I thought when the food was gone they would start eating the effing table. So if you ever find yourself on a cruise and they serve a midnight buffet, take my advice and check it out...and send me your pictures!