Konnichiwa, Mr. Harry-San!

Did anybody happen to catch Madge's two-part interview with Harry Smith on 'The Early Show' this week? Man, what IS it with Madge and that geekazoid? This is one of the many sit-downs she's had with ol' Harry in the past few years—I have been trying to figure out why she's so high on him, and all I can guess is that a.) CBS is part of Viacom, as is MTV...and Madge has been all up in their poonani with her new album, b.) Harry is a brainy geek and thus interesting/non-threatening to Madge, and c.) 'The Early Show' attracts an older viewer than either 'Today' or 'GMA,' and Madge needs to stay in touch with that audience if she's gonna be doing 'TRL,' too.

Now, that said...Madge was pretty well-behaved this go-round. She invited Harry to join her in Japan (HOT!!), where she made him practice his disco roll and totally dorked out by singing, 'Go Harry! Go Harry! Wave your hands in the air like you just don't care!' (Ouizer and I are always so shocked that the rest of the world doesn't seem to have caught on to the fact that Madonna is a MASSIVE DORK and not the bitchy a-hole everyone would like to believe that she is.) She also used big words like 'ephmeral' and 'ebullient.' (LOVING her for forcing the rest of the world to pick up a damn dictionary--you go, fellow word nerd!) But the best part of the entire interview was a quick clip they showed of Madge being interviewed by the local press, who were excited to see her in the well-chemical peeled flesh for the first time in 12 years. Somebody asked what she liked most about herself (a question that, back in the day, would have kept them there for 10 days), and she answered, 'My resiliency' before looking over at the female translator with a snotty look and asking, 'Does that translate? Resiliency?' in the most withering voice possible.

Ah, such charm...such charm!