Apple of Our Eye

And NO, I am NOT talking about spawn of Paltrow, people! I am talking about the original nutcase piano chanteuse herself, Ms. Fiona Apple.

It is no big secret within the Cabinet that M'Lynn, Shelby and Clairee triple-heart Fiona. In fact, our rabid obsession over "When the Pawn..." was an early clue, along with the ability to quote every single line/phrase/mannerism out of "Waiting for Guffman", that there was a strong friendship in the works.

And so, six debauchery filled years later, a little older and none the wiser we found ourselves attending in the oppressive humidity her July 26th set at Central Park Summerstage. Because here's the deal, people: When Fiona tours, you go. It's as simple as that. She only agrees to perform live about once a decade, and even then you have no idea what face of Fiona is going to show up. She may be smiles and giggles. She may launch into a tirade about the monitors and run off the stage hysterically crying. She may stumble onto stage with hello kitty bandages covering attempted suicide slashes. And it doesn't matter. Because you know whatever it is, it will be utterly captivating. And that, my dear friends, is why you go.

With that in mind, here's what we discovered...

Fiona may be, against Doctor's orders, off her lithium.
Her tics were out of control throughout the entire set, complete with gutteral screams and herky jerky body movements. To the point that M'Lynn suggested someone unaware of her work attending the concert might think she suffers from Tourette's Syndrome. That or channeling Linda Blaire in "The Exorcist". Check out this clip someone took of her blowing out during "Fast as You Can" for a brief example.

Fiona's stuttering banter between songs is fantastic.
Her introduction to "Better Version of Me" included a long, rambling monologue about how when she was seven she asked "mama" if in order to have a good day she had to have a bad day. While her mother told her at the time that of course that wasn't true, she confided in the audience (and her mama, who happened to be in the audience), that she still disagrees. How very Fiona.

Fiona doesn't forgive, and she doesn't forget.
She introduced one song early in the evening with, "Have you ever been with someone before who when you're out in public, everyone thinks they are just the greatest most wonderful person? And then when you're alone together, they whisper the most horrible things in the world to you?"

Fiona hearts "When the Pawn..." as much as we do.
While she performed many of the "hits" from Tidal and Extraordinary Machine, the set list leaned heavily in favor of her crowning jewel. By my count there were seven.


For a little Guffman/Fiona synergy, and with her aforementioned fragile mental state in mind, I'd like to end with this statement:

WE LOVE YOU, FIONA! WE LOVE YOU AND WE WANT YOU TO LIIIIIIIVE!!!!