Hey, That's No Way To Say Goodbye

Word on the street is that the end is nigh for The Cabinet's official stomping ground, Miss Roxy. Our favorite meeting place will be forever shuttering its doors at the end of the month to make room for yet another cookie-cutter set of riverfront condos. I know I speak for all of us here at Shelby that this news comes as a shocking BLOW!, and not in a good way, either. To add insult to injury, it seems as if promoter John Blair is going to let this New York institution creep away into the night, without an all-out extravaganza befitting a club that has been the cornerstone of the New York dance community since 1990.

If you get a chance to orbit Venus one last time, you should try to stop by next weekend for Peter Rauhofer's Roxy Classics party on July 29th. I really wish I could change my plans and stay in the city that weekend, but I've already committed myself to a wild weekend on the Isle of Fire. I guess I made my peace with this news during Pride this year, when I went to one of the best Roxy parties ever thrown. To some it may seem silly that a dance club holds so much significance, but were it not for Roxy I may never have met Truvy or Clairee, and the walls of that space hold my fondest memories of all of us together blowing it as only the Cabinet can.

My top five Roxy BLOW!s:

1. Madonna's Surprise Visit to Promote Confessions On A Dancefloor
"I have a very long history with the Roxy...my whole career started with twelve inches," exclaims a saucy Madge in all her sparkly blue perfection. Thousands respond in ecstatic cheers as the heat threatens to make more than a few pass out. Meanwhile, Ouizer freaks out on the back couches ranting "Gremlin Jump! Gremlin Jump!" for the better part of an hour.

2. Beyonce Makes Her Baby Boys Crazy In Love
SBNY may have gotten Britty Pears in the zone and out all night, but shortly thereafter Beyonce trumped Mrs. Federline's impromptu NY gay club performance by putting on a mini-extravaganza of her own. A pair of awe-inspiring performances of "Baby Boy" and "Crazy In Love", peppered with B warmly interacting with the audience - "I see YOU over there in da braids! I see you screaming on yo' cell phone!" - made this a Cabinet Night to Remember.

3. Peter Rauhofer's Madonnathon
A night of Madonna mixes from all periods of her career - who would have thought we'd ever hear True Blue album track "Where's The Party" blasting from the Roxy Phazon sound system? - was an evening where we couldn't wait to hear what was coming next. Big props to Peter for making Gap ad theme "Into The Hollywood Groove" into a credible dance staple.

4. "Me Against The Music" Remix Premiere
Much talk was made of the 'passing of the baton' from Madonna to Britty Pears, but the original version of the track had many snickering and pop radio showed only mild interest in the collaboration. Peter's remix, a heady electro reworking of the tune, had the crowd going wild with it's stuttering "B-B-B-B-B-Britney" intro. Ouizer and Shelby played a coy game of cat and mouse around the Roxy couches in homage to the video's ridiculous maze sequence.

5. Ouizer's Birthday Blowout 2002-2006
What more can I say? Birthday Blowouts will continue,but they will never be the same again.

And a list of my Top Twenty Roxy Anthems...songs that made me freak out as soon as I heard the opening bars and, yes, on occasion, to cry like a fool on the dancefloor:

20. "Nobody Knows Me" (Peter Rauhofer Private Life Mix) - Madonna
19. "Milkshake" (X-Press 2 Remix) - Kelis
18. "Me Against The Music" (Peter Rauhofer Remix) - Britty Pears featuring Madonna
17. "Luv 2 Luv" (Cevin Fisher Mix) - Suzanne Palmer
16. "Dark Beat" (Original Mix) - Oscar G
15. "Just A Little While" (Peter Rauhofer Mix) - Boobie Jumpoff
14. "Love That Man" (Peter Rauhofer Retro Mix) - La Whitney
13. "Wish I Didn't Miss You" (Hex Hector Remix) - Angie Stone
12. "17 Again" (Peter Rauhofer Mix) - Eurythmics
11. "Toxic" (Peter Rauhofer Mix) - Britty Pears
10. "Home" (Offer Nissim Mix Part I) - Suzanne Palmer
9. "Impressive Instant" (Peter Rauhofer Universal Mix) - Madonna
8. "Lose My Breath" (Peter Rauhofer Breathless Mix) - Destiny's Child
7. "Searching" (Original Mix) - Offer Nissim featuring Maya
6. "Heartattack" (Peter Rauhofer Particular Mix) - Jahkey B featuring Satta
5. "Whatchulookinat?" (Peter Rauhofer Mix) - La Whitney
4. "Beautiful" (Peter Rauhofer Mix) - XXXtina
3. "Emotional Rollercoaster" (That Kid Chris Mix) - Vivian Green
2. "Easy As Life" (Tony Moran Mix) - Deborah Cox
1. "Appreciate Me" (Peter Rauhofer's Trip To Paradise Mix) - Amuka

Ah Miss Roxy, you'll always be in my heart, and I've got more than a handful of memories tucked in the back pocket of my favorite jeans to last me my whole life.

xoxo,

Ouizer