Not Afraid To Try It On My Own

Hallelujah! Now, the Cabinet is fully aware of my longtime obsession with Mrs. Nippy Brown (nee Whitney Elizabeth Houston). Ever since I went to Amsterdam with my friend Poo Boddum and...er...turned into her for a few hours, my fondness has grown into a full-blown infatuation.

The past years have been, needless to say, a trying time to defend La Whitney. Which makes the news that she is divorcing longtime partner-in-crime Bobby Brown a more-than-welcome surprise. Not that I didn't enjoy the stories about Bobby digging poop out of Whitney's bum when she was constipated. Not that I didn't relish in the beauty of duets like "Something In Common" and "My Love". Not that I don't beam with pride when I look at $eXXXyKri$$y's MySpace page. But DAMN GURL, it's about TIME! Now, like Britney, get yourself together and get back into the studio, PRONTO! I am heartened by the pics of you with Clive and Auntie Dionne at the Johnny Mathis Tribute in Beverly Hills earlier this week.

Much Love from your #1 Fan,

Ouizer

P.S. However, maybe you should get in touch with Piggy Jones Reynolds and get some advice about how to maintain your wigs, dear!