Watch your back, Clarkson!

We love you, Kelly Clarkson. We really do. But here's the thing... you'd better watch your back. Last year, you made an enemy out of Gwen Stefani when you completely cockblocked her, beating her out for every MTV Video Music or Grammy Award in which both of you were nominated. What can I say? You've got the Midas touch.

That said, your recent MTV Video Music Award win for Best Female Video for "Because of You" (Really? If I were going to pick one it would be "...Hazel Eyes", hands down) distressed me, to say the least. Winning over such heavyweights as Shakira, Madonna, and my girl Christina, I fear you may have crossed the line. Gwen is passive-aggressive enough, Shakira is coo-coo bananas enough and Madonna is English marm/Kabbalah enough to let your avalanche of "Breakaway" awards slide. But Christina....well, she is not amused. And while she let you emerge with "Miss Independent" unscathed, she might just cut you ear to ear this time.

I mean, can't you see that now is Christina's moment? With Brit-Brit about ready to pop another out from her sham marriage and "toss it in the pile with the other ones" (to paraphrase Laura from Project Runway), this is HER moment in the spotlight. So Kell Bells, it's damage control time. If you know what's best for you, I'd send a room full of flowers and an "I'm not worthy" apology note, stat.

Consider yourself warned, courtesy House of Aguilera.