Betsy Ross Gave Me TMJ

Just a tip for the 'lil woodpeckas out there...If you are ever at the club, desperate to find some party favors, do not, I repeat DO NOT, purchase party favors from a black drag queen (later nicknamed Betsy Ross) wearing american flag spandex hotpants. Who am I kidding, you'll do it anyway, but consider yourself warned. Since that desperate evening, every time I open my jaw it sounds like I'm eating a bowl of fucking rice krispies. Don't learn the hard way like me - always bring your lunch from home, kiddies...