I won't leave Manhattan, I WON'T!

Thank you for sending me your precious Evite, but no... I do not want to attend your party in Brooklyn. Not only am I annoyed at the prospect of having to take a bus and 2 trains to your apartment, but I am confused as to why it is you think everyone on your guest list should attend this little soiree. I believe it is your obligation as a resident of a borough to have your party in the city LIKE A NORMAL PERSON. If you don't, you can't be pissed at anyone for not showing up. That's the deal, kiddo...