Read Your Blog, Shelby!

Bleeding Love - Leona Lewis

2007-10-21T16:29:00.001-04:00

Yeah...I'm totally obsessed with this shit. It kinda sounds like a vintage Cyndi Lauper ballad but with over-the-top Mariah/Christina melisma on the top.

BLACKOUT

2007-10-21T16:18:00.000-04:00

Nyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeah! Can't wait for this business...

Leona Lewis - Bleeding Love live on XFactor

2007-10-21T16:17:00.001-04:00

This song has been my trashy pop ballad of choice for the last month or so...

Mariah Mania Has Begun

2007-09-21T22:26:00.000-04:00

Mariah showed up to the VH1 Save The Music Foundation's 10th Anniversary Gala in Lincoln Center Thursday night looking FABULOUS! She contributes her new figure to "bleak diets" and a great personal trainer.

Mariah left sketchy details on her new album (i.e. nothing), but word on the street is that's it's being pushed back to Dec. 4 (Mary J Blige was heard breathing a sigh of relief).

Watch as some Chris-Crocker-Crazy fan pleads with Mariah to leave the red carpet and come hug her. Mimi does just that, but contends she can't actually hug her because "my make-up". GoodStuff.

Personally, with all of these guest appearances all over the city, I'm beginning to fag out watching her promo machine start up. It won't be long before Mariah is all over my TV, all over my radio, and all up in my iPod, all through the holiday season, once again. I couldn't ask for a better way to end a fantastic 2007.

Andy's dead.

2007-09-02T11:30:00.001-04:00

I wanna know WHY!!!!

2007-08-30T22:07:00.001-04:00

Just a little reminder...

Kelly Clarkson - Canadian Idol - Top 5

2007-08-22T01:07:00.001-04:00

Check out Kell Bells dishing advice recently on Canadian Idol. She's cute, as usual.

album cover kids, all grown up

2007-08-19T14:15:00.000-04:00

I lifted this story from: Pop Music Kingdom.

Remember seeing this album cover everywhere in the 90’s? Well meet the naked baby himself, Spencer Elden, now 17. He was the subject of one of the most famous album covers in rock history, Nirvana's "Nevermind."Spencer Elden, who was photograhed in 1991 for the cover of Nirvana's Nevermind (and is now 17), told MTV: "Yeah, it's kind of creepy that that many people have seen me naked. I feel like I'm the world's biggest porn star."

Here are some other famous child covers:
Justine Ferrara on the cover of Korn's self-titled 1994 LP
Carl Gellert on the cover of the Goo Goo Dolls' A Boy Named Goo (1995)
Billie Jo Campbell on the cover of the Violent Femmes' self-titled 1982 LP.
Source: Mtv.com

Mandy Moore "umbrella"

2007-08-15T21:38:00.000-04:00

Not too shabby.
She kinda blows it out on the bridge.
Good job, MM.

I Know Who Killed My Career

2007-08-13T00:57:00.001-04:00

In honor of cabinet movie night, I'm posting this clever spoof of the "I Know Who Killed Me" trailer. It was a terrific mini-blow, thank you guys for coming out. Much props to FourFour's blog for spurring the idea. Enjoy the clip. White Oprah for President!

Rihanna - Don't Stop The Music

2007-08-04T15:50:00.001-04:00

Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah this is TOTES my Summer 2007 song. I seriously listen to this shit at least once a day. I think if I heard this song on a dance floor, my brains would splatter onto the ceiling. On a sidenote, what sort of regimen is this bitch on? She is literally drop dead gorgeous. She'd better watch out...Beyonce is gonna boil her bunny pretty soon if she keeps this up.

Cold War Kids - Hospital Beds

2007-08-04T15:41:00.001-04:00

I like this song/video of theirs even more. The "Put out the fire, boy" refrain is totally badass.

Cold War Kids - Hang Me Up to Dry

2007-08-04T15:33:00.001-04:00

First Silverchair, and now this randomness (well, anything out of my usual scope of Duff/Kell-Bells I deem random). I just love this dude's voice and the way it fits right in with their loose, skeevy sound. Pretty cool, methinks.

Batshit Crazy

2007-07-26T01:19:00.000-04:00

I found these pics of Britty Peers at her OK Magazine shoot.

Looks like paparazzi phots, but this is probably as close

as we'll get to seeing what went down.

Notice she has two different dresses on,

the fried-chicken-stained-yellow one

and a dog-dodo-brown one.

Click on the pic for a closer look.

Holla!

"and the other bleakness is..."

2007-07-24T00:47:00.000-04:00

"M by Mariah" hits stores next month, but you can check out the fragrance's website and sign up for a free sample (yes, of course I did. I'll probably wear it too. Holla!).

Annnnd, the voicemail Clairee posted is much funnier overall than this one, but this is the latest one where she talks about how living with her trainer is so bleak (skip to 2:28).

Goodtimes.

Luv ya, appreciate ya, and enjoy ya.

Get Back!

2007-07-20T17:37:00.000-04:00

Yes folks, this is the outfit Miss Spears decided to wear in her comeback video for "Get Back". Well, if the comeback's not gonna be fierce, at least make it campy. Looks like Britty won't let us down. (more pics here)

WWTDD got the inside scoop:
Our insider told us that the music video is unlike anything Britney Spears has done before, pointing out that the video has a very eclectic feel to it with a lot of vintage elements. In one of the sets, there’s a drawing of Elvis on the wall and a little bit further down is one of Britney. There is also a night club set.
Our insider says: “Not many people know how long this music video has been in pre-production. The entire concept behind the music video, which I cannot talk about, was entirely Britney’s idea, and this is the first time that she has been involved in it as early as the story board process, all the way to the production design and the casting as well. The only thing I can say is that this video is about “rebirth”. She also did all the choreography for it. This is her baby and is excited for all her fans to see it when it airs. She has been working extremely hard even though many fail to give her credit for it.”

9 to 5 coming to Broadway!

2007-07-20T17:22:00.000-04:00

I don't usually get all gay over "coming to broadway" announcements, but I nearly did a spit-take when I read this. I LOVE this movie!
Peeps are saying the show looks promising and Dolly wrote all the songs herself!
Um... first in line, right here.

"I'm gonna get that gun of mine, and I'm gonna change you from a rooster to a hen with one shot!"
Nyeahhhhhh!!! It just don't GET any better!

Easy-Bake Finger

2007-07-19T22:28:00.001-04:00

Booooooooo!!!! This toy was the JUMP, and mandatory for any 'mo in training. I remember waiting like 19 hours to bake a brownie.

Katharine McPhee - Love Story

2007-07-19T22:23:00.001-04:00

They're all gonna laugh at you! Thanks for the bleakosity, Kat.

Kylie

2007-07-19T22:12:00.000-04:00

Don't even talk about it!

Mimi Voicemail

2007-07-19T22:00:00.001-04:00

Courtesy of honorary cabinet member Jim, here is a new outrageous voicemail from Mimi. Enjoy!

Silverchair - Straight Lines

2007-07-19T21:31:00.001-04:00

I'm sure I'll hate myself later for this, but I'm kinda liking this song/video right now...

Judge Judy - "What's A Booty Bump?"

2007-07-19T21:16:00.001-04:00

Fantasia - When I See U

2007-07-14T12:56:00.001-04:00

Tasia being her usual over-the-top self, with garments courtesy of Bobby Trendy. But my god that bitch can blow!

Random Pic of the Day...

2007-07-12T21:44:00.000-04:00

The Reluctant Receptionist sent this to me and it made me laugh out loud at work. Mostly because I make off-color jokes about Stevie Nicks booty bumps on pretty much a daily basis.

Courtney Love's aftershow

2007-07-12T21:31:00.001-04:00

Holy shiz! This clip is SCARY.

fabulous.

2007-07-07T00:49:00.000-04:00

Shelby, is dat chu?

2007-07-06T14:57:00.000-04:00

I love this pic.
The Clarkson checks herself between songs (or during, who knows).

Sharon Stone in a Fat Suit (CampFest)

2007-07-01T17:19:00.001-04:00

It's worth watching for the meltdown at the end.

Tears Dry on Their Own - Amy Winehouse

2007-06-30T19:57:00.001-04:00

I want to have her babies.

J-Hud AND J-Holl!

2007-06-30T19:48:00.000-04:00

Jennifer Hudson & Jennifer Holiday @ 2007 BET Awards
Uploaded by Phillips-Entertainment

This is hands-down the most outrageous thing I've ever seen in my life.

Enough is Enough!

2007-06-30T19:23:00.000-04:00

Check this Spin article with Rufus Wainwright in which he slams Beyonce and does his standard prick schtick. I'm sorry, but he has annoyed the shit out of me for YEARS. Originally I just thought I was jealous of his career, considering I am a gay songwriter in the same age bracket who had to pursue a Plan B career instead of waking up at 11am, lounging in my bathrobe, and writing opera all day long (but I'm not bitter!). But honestly, the more interviews with him that I read, the more it seems that he is just a genuinely unpleasant person...a whiner who is completely ungrateful for any success he has achieved. Not to mention he put up that sham Judy Garland concert and then ultimately criticized Liza for not bowing to her knees and sucking his dick - saying "But you know she did make a mistake, because it was a great show and she’ll come around." Really? REALLY?? Why don't you go do some more tina, douchebag.

2007-06-30T19:10:00.001-04:00

bleak.

Ladies and Gentlemen....Mindina Inzelina!

2007-06-30T18:14:00.001-04:00

So, the cabinet was in full attendance for Pier Dance 2007. And as usual, we were firmly stanced by the first set of bleachers, dancing up a storm. I think this clip accurately displays the general confusion of the audience during Idina Menzel's live performance. Incidentally, they pronounced her name wrong during her intro, calling her "Mendina Inzel". They may as well have said, "Please welcome to the stage....No-Name!". Me, I was raging along with her when she was singing Tracy Young's dance remix of "Defying Gravity" from WICKED. It doesn't GYIT much better than dancing on a random west side pier with 8,000 sweaty men to a dance remix of a ridiculous Broadway song - sung by a Tony Award-winning performer. Which is followed immediately by fireworks. Yeah...it doesn't get much gayer than that, folks. You'd have to be tap-dancing with Liza across a fuckin' rainbow to the music of Ethel Merman's version of "I Got Rhythm" to trump that.

Kelly Clarkson - Sober

2007-06-30T18:04:00.001-04:00

Oh Sweet Baby Jesus...I want to dyke out with Kelly I love her so much. Anyone who jumps on the Debbie Downer bandwagon and trashes her new album can EAT ME RAW, because it's fantastic.

Amerie - Gotta Work

2007-06-30T17:55:00.000-04:00

Amerie - Gotta Work (World Premiere)
Uploaded by Alisvideo

Anything featuring pumps-dancing is foin by me!

"You do not have a fresh face"

2007-06-29T13:31:00.001-04:00

This cartoon is high-larious! It's called "Planet Unicorn" and it sorta reminds me of those old "Queer Duck" shorts. This is episode #4, so be sure to check out the other, equally outrageous episodes on YouTube or on Channel101.com. Goodtimes!

all I want for christmas!

2007-06-29T01:38:00.000-04:00

Mariah Carey has announced the launch of her new women's fragrance - "M by Mariah Carey"

Mimi unveiled her scent to beauty editors at a lavish cocktail party in Soho last week, which she hosted with Elizabeth Arden, her fragrance licensee. And if Carey's musical prowess extends to her fragrance, Arden will have a hit on its hands as Mariah is the best-selling female musical artist of all time, with a string of 17 number-one singles. The new M by Mariah Carey will be available in stores in the fall.

You can read the rest of the article on Women's Wear Daily.

Kelly Clarkson - Sober

2007-06-06T23:47:00.001-04:00

Kelly's new single.
I like it. It's a pretty, Sarah McLachlan-ish ballad (read:lezbot), with a big blowout at the end. I don't know how well it will do on Radio, but I'll jam it in my kitchen (on mah behbeh boombox)!

Mariah Carey Nescafe Commercial 2

2007-05-25T16:10:00.001-04:00

HAHA! I also like this one because she speaks Japanese!
Is it just me who finds this stuff hilarious? Probably. But enjoy anyway.

Mariah Carey Nescafe Commercial

2007-05-25T16:03:00.001-04:00

OMG! I think I just found the inspiration for Mariah's campiest video to date, "Boy".
Randomly searching YouTube, I came across this Japanese Nescafe commercial, circa 2000 (pre-Glitter).
It's camptastic!

The View 5/23/07 Alicia Silverstone Snubs Elisabeth

2007-05-25T15:52:00.001-04:00

I can't get enough of this. As if I didn't already like Alicia enough for "Clueless", now she's snubbing people! On national TV!!
Snubbing is a cabinet approved form of behavior. It takes a lot of guts to properly snub someone, so hats off to Cher Horowitz for having the balls to go through with it.

Police Officer Steals Marijuana

2007-05-22T18:42:00.001-04:00

A stoned cop calls 911 because he thinks he's dying... no wait, he's already dead.
Goodtimes.

Anticipating

2007-05-19T00:55:00.000-04:00

New album cover!

Release Date: June 26

Looks like Kelly trashed Mommie Dearest's house.

"Clean up this mess!"

*
*

Bonus: Reba feat Kelly Clarkson - Because of You

Reba has a new duets album coming out soon and this is the first single.

Fantasia - When I See You

2007-05-19T00:46:00.001-04:00

YAY! 'Tasia's second single is no doubt my favorite on her album, and she has a cute NYC video.

Bionic Woman Preview

2007-05-16T15:11:00.001-04:00

Speaking of "Heroes", here's a 2 minute preview of my next 'new favorite show'.
Now if they could only finish up that Wonder Woman film.

Fergie - Big Girls Don't Cry

2007-05-16T14:56:00.001-04:00

New Fergie video! Milo WhatsHisName from "Heroes" (my new fave show, btw) looks all Hottie McHottie, walking around with his shirt off for most of it. It's a nice clip overall, good job Fergie Ferg.
Center. Clarity. Peace. Serenity.

back before Xtube

2007-05-11T14:05:00.000-04:00

This story is Heinous/Hilarious.

Turns out Jared (from the Subway commercials) was known as "The Porn King" in college because he ran a porn video rental service out of his dormroom.

And the best part, he attributes his weight loss to laziness. He says Subway was the closest fast food joint to his crib.

Outrageous.

Rihanna - Umbrella

2007-05-10T04:29:00.001-04:00

Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaah this song grows on me every time I hear it. Shame on me for calling her Lumidee pt. 2 back during Pon de Replay days...

Daddy Yankee feat Fergie - Impacto (Remix)

2007-05-10T04:17:00.001-04:00

NEW DADDY YANKEE!
Ok, not why I'm posting... I'm posting because Fergie has a verse at the end of the song where she says "say it to my FACE!" and totally waves her hand in front of her face. Awesome.

ps... (Fergie's Lyrics)
You know what happens when I step into the place
Fergalicious for the ones who get a taste
But they know I ain't promisciuous
The way I shake it up in this
The ladies don't know real from the fake
You got a problem? Come and say it to my face!
You got a problem? Come and say it in my face!
Fergie-Ferg make an impact
Imma pull ya wig back
Fellas like the way I move my waist

Shakira - Pure Intuition

2007-05-10T04:16:00.001-04:00

I hear this song is blowing up overseas, but no word yet on if she'll release it here. I hope so, the spanish version was my favorite song off of "Fijacion Oral vol. 1" (I called it her Kylie song). Actually, I hope it gets a massive release with a slew of club mixes. Can you imagine, Ms. Colombia ruling the airwaves for a third straight summer off of (basically) the same album. That's rare, folks. Big ups to Shakira!

Stars, they're just like Us.

2007-05-07T19:53:00.000-04:00

Lindsay & Friends doing bumps in the bathroom @ da club.

I luv'it.

ps... other possible headlines for this post:

"tried to send me to rehab, I said no no no"

"Shut up, Lupe Fiasco!"

"Can four people fit in this stall?"

"You guys are my BEST friends!"

"I just wanna keep partying"

Jailbird

2007-05-05T14:13:00.000-04:00

Miss Hilton just got sentenced to 45 days in the slammer! This is after cops caught her driving with a suspended license back in February.

When the judge read the verdict, Paris' mom shouted, "You're pathetic!" at him, while Paris sat crying.

I hope there's a camera-phone video of that somewhere. If only Kathy Hilton had thrown a vase at the Judge, a la Denise Richards in "Wild Things"! (btw... BEST movie scene anywhere EVER!)

Do you really want to hurt me?

2007-05-01T17:12:00.000-04:00

OMG. I'm loving this story.
Boy George and friend kidnap an escort and chain him to the wall, then BG pulls out the whips and chains and threatens to get kinky.
EWWW!

The hustler escaped, but I hear he can't stop vomitting!

Kelly Clarkson - Never Again

2007-05-01T16:54:00.001-04:00

NEW VIDEO!
I totes love it!
Kell Bell's is back, ya'll.

Hairspray Trailer

2007-04-24T01:00:00.001-04:00

I'm still pissed about J. Travolta being cast as momdukes, but all-in-all, this doesn't look so bad.
Cabinet outing at the Ziegfeld?

That's a Hair-Don't!

2007-04-24T00:54:00.001-04:00

And just for ol' times sake, the OG trailer.

pussy cat dolls - sway

2007-04-24T00:45:00.001-04:00

I'm only posting this to save Ouizer's sanity.
Many moons ago, we had a disagreement where I said "Don't Cha" was the first single and he argued that they had one before that, but couldn't remember what it was, only that they "used to play it at Splash during happy hour".
"Oh ok", I said, "that really narrows it down".
But now I stand corrected. Here it is, a remake of "Sway" for that J.Lo/Richard Gere trainwreck.
AND, Bonus, that one chick who can't sing but gets an A+ for effort 'cause at least she tries to blow, is totally featured... TRYING TO BLOW!
Goodtimes.

Kelly Clarkson - Never Again Video Shoot (Access Hollywood)

2007-04-22T13:03:00.001-04:00

Fergie Ferg's American Idol Travesty

2007-04-22T12:38:00.001-04:00

This performance was so bleak it tipped the scales into awesome. My personal favorite is the very special Idol producers moment around 1:42 when the re-re girl grabs Fergie's hand. I mean, honestly...who thought this was a good idea? Me, I like my Fergie on meth and/or wetting herself.

Sad Kermit - Hurt

2007-04-22T12:32:00.001-04:00

Tori Amos- Big Wheel

2007-04-21T11:34:00.001-04:00

Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

Gwen Stefani - 4 In The Morning

2007-04-20T16:16:00.001-04:00

NEW SINGLE! Nice song. The video's nothing special, but she looks great.

The Landlord

2007-04-20T16:10:00.001-04:00

Have you guys seen this hilarity? Will Ferrell and his writing partner made a short film with said writing partner's daughter as the landlord from hell. Goodtimes. Watch now before YouTube deletes it (otherwise, check it out at FunnyOrDie.com).

It needed to be SAID!

2007-04-14T13:50:00.000-04:00

Most of you know of the borderline-scary obsession I am having right now with Amy Winehouse. Besides the fact that "Back to Black" is like, the best freakin' album since "The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill" (ok, so that praise might be a teeeeeeeeensy bit effusive), she is just such a hilarious, nasty wreck of a human being. The story I'm loving this week is that she apparently heckled Bono while he was accepting an award. It's no secret my feelings for that ol' megalomaniac blowhard. *sigh* Girl after my own heart.

Feist - 1 2 3 4

2007-04-14T13:29:00.001-04:00

Shelby's Gal alerted me to this fabulousness. It's kinda like Bjork's "It's Oh So Quiet" meets a non-bleak Polyphonic Spree.

R.I.P. County Fair :-(

2007-04-14T12:02:00.001-04:00

Haley (aka County Fair / 4H Queen), you entertained us to no end. In your memory, I am posting your most beasty Kimberly-Caldwell-esque "performance" (and as Shelby would say, I use that term very loosely). Look forward to seeing you on future Carnival cruises, girl!

I'm back gurls, and with 20% more crazy!

2007-04-14T11:44:00.000-04:00

Ok, so these pics have officially made me excited about this new Tori album...and an official return to the bygone era of "I'm going to record in a dilapidated house and take a bunch of crazy rainforest drugs and have a pig suckle my right breast". With upcoming releases by crazy beast mainstays Bjork and Tori, it looks like I've got my soundtrack for Spring 2007 all planned out...

New Torn Anus

2007-04-13T20:58:00.000-04:00

Who'da thunk it? Torn Anus actually released something that's not adult-contempo. I might actually be excited now about her upcoming album...

Fergie feat Charlotte Church - 9 to 5

2007-04-13T20:48:00.001-04:00

What?!?! This is surely a sign of end times. Btw, Iluvit.

Kelly Clarkson - Never Again

2007-04-13T20:37:00.000-04:00

Here it is, y'all. The first single off of Kell Bells' upcoming album. Enjoy!

Kell Bells talks about new album

2007-04-13T20:35:00.001-04:00

Alanis Morissette - My Humps

2007-04-07T11:50:00.001-04:00

This shit is hilarious.

Jordin Sparks - I Who Have Nothing

2007-03-25T14:39:00.001-04:00

I've been meaning to post this all week. I think this was totes the best performance of the night...

Happy Straight Pride

2007-03-17T17:02:00.000-04:00

I know I already raged about this last year, but seriously... St. Patrick's Day is cordially invited to blow me. I went to the gym and the drugstore earlier this afternoon and was ready to murder a baby by the time I got home. There are lakes of nasty slush at every intersection from last night's ridiculousness, which would be bleak enough without having to navigate around a bunch of ambling putzes with oversize green hats. And it sounds like the apartment above me has 50 people in it blowing out. Wow...so original you guys! Who would have thought to have a party on St. Patrick's Day?

I'm on cocaine...he's on ecstasy...

2007-03-17T16:59:00.001-04:00

I heard about this but I just got around to watching this messy Kell Bells clip...

LaKisha Jones - God Bless The Child

2007-03-17T12:29:00.001-04:00

Ok, even though I'm stilling throw all my weight behind no-neck, Kiki gets top prize from me this week. I have always adored this song, and her rendition is fantastic.

Dooooooooooooooooooooouche

2007-03-17T12:05:00.000-04:00

Oh my gravy I am completely obsessed with this story. I seriously started cackling on the bus when I read it in a.m. new york. I don't even care if it's true - as Kathy Griffin likes to say, a rumor is good enough for me. I saw him once at P.S. 1 (poseur jump!) and seriously wanted to do the make- an- ok- sign- with- your- hand- and- yell- "BOO!"- through- the- opening- between- your- index- finger- and- thumb.

Slip n Slide

2007-03-16T17:34:00.000-04:00

Click here to watch Carmen Electra take a nasty dive on the runway.
Funny stuff.

I got some acid for your FACE!

2007-03-16T15:45:00.001-04:00

OMG. I just saw this on Perez. Some crazy lady angrily threw powdered acid on her neighbors, and then denied it when reporters came to question her. It's a classic clip.

Beyonce Threatens To Kill Jennifer Hudson for WINNING OSCAR!

2007-03-14T19:09:00.001-04:00

This guy is pretty funny/annoying at times, but this commentary on the J.Hud/Beyonce saga is outrageous. If you like it, check out his page (peron75), he has tons of these gay entertainment clips (a lot of them on the latest Idol news).

This Used To Be My Playground

2007-03-14T15:19:00.001-04:00

YouTube has tons of videos of Roxy's Last Dance, but I'm pretty sure this is the one Peter was filming on his little camera. It looks like it's coming from the DJ booth. Anyway, I think you can spot me and Ouizer all the way to the left at :24. It was a very bittersweet moment for all the peeps there.

K-Locke at SBNY

2007-03-10T18:21:00.000-05:00

Gurls, I might have to go to this. The prospect of hearing K-Locke blow out to "8th World Wonder" and "Change" (my newest obsession, incidentally...download the Jason Nevins remix STAT) is just too over-the-top gay to pass up.

Fanning the Flames

2007-03-10T14:02:00.000-05:00

So I was getting ready to hop on a BLEAK five-hour coach flight (um, middle seat and the bitch to the right of me literally sneezed on my arm at one point) from a business trip to San Diego this week and was trolling the newstands beforehand for some reading material. This is usually when I like to catch up on m'news via In Touch Weekly, but something else caught my eye. For some reason, the newstand had one of those black plastic covers over Maxim, like it was Playboy or Penthouse or Chicks With Dicks or something. I thought that was kinda strange. I mean, yeah, Maxim is disturbingly gross and trashy, but it's not like they show vajayjay. Then I noticed some shocking platinum hair peaking out from underneath the black plastic. One might even say the hair looked heinous. Could it be? I pulled the cover off and had a reaction not unlike a 10-year old opening a Nintendo on Christmas morning. Of course I bought the magazine. See, I don't even pretend to be sane when it comes to matters involving Xtina.

This one is quite Mimi. "I think perhaps I'll just lay Cleopatra-style while holding this strand of pearls..."

This is very whore-next-door.

Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaah cunt-jumpoff look on the face with the titties bustin' out.

'Lil Debbie Alert: New Kell Bells Album

2007-03-10T13:52:00.000-05:00

We'll ne'er get another "Breakaway", but I am totes excited about the prospect of blowing out to Kelly's upcoming album "My December".

For you to watch on repeat...

2007-03-10T13:44:00.000-05:00

This is how oscars are won.

Melinda Doolittle - I'm a W-O-M-A-N

2007-03-08T21:59:00.001-05:00

Ok, so I seriously think she's my favorite Idol contestant since Season 3's J-Hud and Tasia.

Melinda Doolittle - My Funny Valentine

2007-03-03T12:05:00.001-05:00

I never liked this standard very much but holy crap...her performance was FLAWLESS.

"YOUUU figure it out."

2007-03-02T22:44:00.000-05:00

Mommie Dearest meets the real Mommie Dearest.

Beyonce - Beautiful Liar (ft. Shakira)

2007-03-02T19:42:00.001-05:00

Hot tamale!

Jennifer Holliday

2007-02-27T19:14:00.001-05:00

Yeeeaaahhh!
The O.G. J.Holliday blows her tits off for the fine folks on the red carpet at the 2007 Oscar's (well, actually... they put her way on top of a big building so no one could see her throwing drama and death stares at J.Hud, but at least she was there).

smell ya later.

2007-02-27T18:08:00.000-05:00

Check it.
This guy conned a swiss newspaper into publishing a fake Gucci ad he made of himself, and then he had them charge Gucci the $50,000 ad fee.
Outrageous.

Break me off a piece of THAT!

2007-02-27T17:56:00.000-05:00

Hot tamale.
My Bf (left) and his BFF
at the Oscars.

From what to what?!

2007-02-27T17:45:00.000-05:00

This just in!
I just found out that Dreamgirl Anika Noni Rose was in "From Justin to Kelly" and still managed to have a career.
Wow, will wonders never cease.

Lay off me I'm STARVING!

2007-02-24T08:58:00.000-05:00

I was trolling around the internet this morning looking for the latest and greatest Antonella Barba pics, and happened upon this awesome picture of Kell Bells frantically shoving some kind of messy sandwich into her cakehole.

Her friend there in the front is staring down, contemplating "Should I? I wonder how many calories are in this. Maybe I should just do the chew and spit so that I don't look like a tank in this bathing suit." Not our Kelly. She's 'lil debbie. She's unhinging her jaw and will swallow that baby in three bites, tops. I get the feeling if you tried to interrupt her feeding frenzy you'd be in risk of losing an eye.

Amy Winehouse - Rehab

2007-02-23T23:46:00.001-05:00

I dig it.

"Candyman" Video

2007-02-22T21:48:00.000-05:00

Ok, gurls: The video is in and it's on FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRE. Check it out here. I must say Xtina has really been proving her worth lately, displaying why I long ago selected her as my diva of choice. Can't wait for my head to explode in concert on March 23rd!

Idol Round-up

2007-02-22T00:01:00.000-05:00

Let's Start with the girls.

First of all, Miss Lakisha not only blew out that song,
but she even made crazy eyes.
If J.Hud doesn't wanna do 'The Broadway'
(as Ashtray would call it),
I'm sure homegirl would do just fine.

Second of all, there's good news.

All of the nubian princesses can SANG.

Please stand when you applaud.

Nicole Tranquillo looks like the Target Lady on SNL.

And Jersey Girl Antonella Barba annoys me.

Please. Leave.

On to the guys.

Chris Richardson is the cutest.

Phil Stacey should ALWAYS wear a hat.

And Blake Lewis is my favorite.

I wouldn't be mad if he won.

All in all, I guess I'm finally ready for a good season of Idol.

I'll ne'er tire of it.

ps... check out Judge Jru, he has a nice rundown of the night,

AND some myspace-type photos of Antonella Barba gone wild.

Yeeeaaahhh!

Xtina Brings Down the House

2007-02-17T11:26:00.003-05:00

Sorry it's taken me so long to post this. This was off the CHARTS, y'all!

FE Fi Fo Fum

2007-02-16T10:48:00.000-05:00

Click on the title for a story that has totally made my week.

Britty's ex-assistant, Felicia Culotta (aka Fe),is tattling as if there is no tomorrow. If RYBS endorses anything it's 1. Tattling and 2. Fe.

She was the perfect assistant. ALWAYS there for Britty. She even committed to staying homely and chubby so that her boss wouldn't feel less pretty. That is true loyalty, folks.

Now Fe is jumping on the "Brit is a mess and will end up like Anna Nicole if she doesn't clean up" bandwagon. Actually, if you read her "plea," it's more a display of silent rage that has been building over 10 years. I love it. Jayden James and Sean Preston should just go live with Fe!

Update: I just read that Fe is now working as a flight attendant and substitute preschool teacher! If I was on a plane, looked up and saw Fe pushing a cart asking me if I wanted chicken or beef I'd BLOW out!!